Chemo with kiddies

Hi Peppermint tea

Welcome to the forum and sorry to hear thAt you have been diagnosed with breast cancer. Unfortunately I don’t have any kids but I noticed that you haven’t had a reply yet so I thought I’d reply to you to welcome you to the community. This reply should also move you to the top of the discussion. Hopefully someone will be along shortly with an answer for you.

Best wishes

Daisy53

Hi,

I had chemo between Sept 2022 and March 2023 and my son was 4 and turned 5 in April.  All kids are different but I have found telling him everything and allowing him to feel included has helped him deal with it really well.  I thought he would be phased by my hair coming out but he was absolutely great about it.  Telling him about my side effects and how I was feeling helped him understand limitations on what I could do.  There were a few times he got quite upset and expressed he was sick of me having so many appointments and wanted them to be over but these were few and far between.  I also let go of any guilt around computer games snd screen time as these were things I was capable of doing with him when I felt poorly and all he cared about was that we were spending time together.  Also found it helpful to let go of any pressure to have proper cooked meals and sit at the table every night, and instead got him lots of healthy finger food and fruit and used to lay it all out and have a picnic in the living room.  The times I was feeling rough and tired it made life easier and he loved it.  I pushed myself too far trying to do all I did before at some points and it made me feel worse and like I had failed.. just letting go of not al ecpectayio s we put on ourselves as mams and just  getting through a difficult time saved my sanity.

X

Thank you so much for taking time to reply. Sounds like you did a brilliant job

LucyP's post describes exactly the frame of mind and action plan I would go with. I would add allowing them to help. Asking them to bring you a tissue or an apple, or to turn the light on or off, or anything else, would make them feel included and give them a true sense of contributing and helping make things better. 

Also be ready for questions. I am remimded of a time when someone in my family had to have surgery in the throat. The incision went across it horizontally. When my then 5 years old cousin saw the scar, his eyes opened widely and he asked, "Uncle, did they take your head off and put it back on?"