Finished chemo but feeling so down.

Hi, I just wanted to quickly reply as you say that you feel down. It’s horrid isn’t it? Everyone is different, some people feel better quickly, others take quite a while. I guess I was lucky in that I finished chemo in the summertime (June). So I had the sunny and longer days to wake up to. But I was up and down like a yoyo if I am honest. Don’t underestimate what you and your body have gone through. I’m sure someone will come on soon with some wise words, but for now … what you are feeling is very normal. X

Hi thank you I’ve had a good cry and given myself a good talking to, I’ve got a lot to be thankful for and a lovely Christmas to look forward to.And like someone said to me the other day “your going to come out of this in the spring like a beautiful flower “  thank you again for your kind words X

I thought of the last chemo as the final 3 week cycle, so wasn't expecting to start to feel better until I was through those 3 weeks Two weeks is very early days. I was told a month until I could start eating things I wasn't allowed to during chemo. My hair didn't really start growing back until between months 3 and 4, and it grew back very slowly. It's normal to feel down after treatment ends. I had chemo first so still had lumpectomy and radiotherapy to go, but I went through a down spell a few months after my main treatment ended. I think you just get on with it when you're in the middle of treatment, and it hits you when it ends.

Yes I had three weeks “break” between ending chemo and starting radio to “recover” - as I’d had accelerated chemo this was the longest time treatment free in over 6 months and I was expecting to feel so much more like normal … but really it was just time to recover slightly and I did feel low. Now “normal” has shifted up after Christmas when radio is over, but obviously I don’t know what effects the Letrozole or abemaciclib will have … I think accepting that it’s going to be a new kind of normal and trying to think of something small but lovely to do each day …. I had an amazing vegan biscotti cheesecake slice at a new cafe last week, bought a new “Christmas” lipstick, sent a special 18th present I’d spent time and care choosing to my god daughter without the usual rush rush rush.  Hope you feel a bit happier soon - it’s early days - 6 months of chemo isn’t going to lift in just a few weeks I’ve realised now. 

Hi Emma I feel the same.  I used to have lovely thick hair , now I have a few strands and its all white as I stopped dying due to chemotherapy. This is despite cold capping. I look in the mirror and lose confidence.  Its not the same me.  I know people say hair is only cosmetic but all women will tell you their hair is their pride and glory and what defines them.

I get you about the neuropathy as well.   I have had really bad neuropathy in my hands and feet.   I finished chemo 2 months ago.   My feet hurt and I drop everything and cannot grip at all or write.  I am hoping to be referred to neurologist.

My chemo stopped 2 months ago due to exceptional circumstances. I was having weekly Paclitaxol chemo and needed 12.  After my 8th one I suddenly developed a rare fungus type pnemonia in both lungs - PJP also known as PCP.  This was due to effects of chemo.  I ended up hospitalised for 16 days of which 8 days were in ICU.

I am still recoverying with antibiotics and steroids.   My radiation is on hold pending clear lungs.This has without doubt been the worst year of my life with my sudden out of blue breast cancer diagnosis in July too.   I feel low at times but I am so proud of my fighting spirit.  I will be glad to put this horrid year behind me and hope for a brighter year next year.

You will get through this difficult time in due course and look back with pride at how far you have come.  It is perfectly normal to feel how you are and you are not alone.  I wish you all the best.

Hi thank you for your reply it’s good to hear from someone going through the same especially with the neuropathy, which I’m now on the third lot of pain killers from my doctor and hoping these ones will help more. 
sorry to hear you ended up in hospital I hope you have a speedy recovery and your radiotherapy can start soon, I’m waiting to start mine as my oncologist left so will have an appointment with another soon hopefully, although they never seem face to face my previous one calked me from Greece for my appointments!!  
 I definitely feel better today after having a good cry, as brave as we are sometimes it does help. We should be so proud of ourselves for what we’ve been through and I’m sure next year will definitely be brighter. I hope you have a lovely Christmas. X

• Hi sorry to hear you are down. I was like that when I finished all treatment in June this year. You are so focused on getting through it all that once all done you feel a little lost. Hope you pick up soon. Once my hair started to grow again it lifted my mood. Still got meds/side effects and tightness but you will begin to get there. It's a case of getting used to the new normal I guess and life is never quite  the same for us. Big hug ️

Hi thanks for your reply, that’s definitely true you do go from one appointment to another not really thinking of anything else and I think your right once my hair starts to grow I’ll feel like I’m on the way to getting some normality back as my hair has been one of the biggest things for me.wishing you well. X

Hi Emma, I feel I could have written this myself  I also recently finished chemo and was euphoric coming home from hospital but like you I am so emotional right now and for me I think I might have given myself too high an expectation. You have beebattling away and just want peace and to feel and look normal again. It’s just not happening quick enough but then I’ve never had much patience  Roll on 2023 I say and I hope you start to feel better soon

Hi that was so me I came home after the last chemo toasting the finish and celebrating and like you almost on a high for a few days until the reality set in that when I looked in the mirror I still looked like I had cancer and that my hair wasn’t going to grow overnight and I wasn’t suddenly going to feel ok. I know I’m way to impatient but like you say roll on 2023. X