Re excision lumpectomy

Hi Dawn70 it sounds like you've got such a lot going on, I think what you're feeling is pretty normal and I'd certainly need a break if I was in your situation, I completely get it.  Easy to say I know, but try to be kind to yourself, you're going through a lot and I think it's ok to feel like this.

If it's difficult for you to chat to friends or family, have you thought about calling the MacMillan Support line? They are super experienced in talking about all aspects of cancer, not just the medical stuff and I used them a few times during my active treatment. Here's the link to save you looking for it.

Macmillan Support

On a more practical note, is there anyone that can give you a bit of a break? If you're like me, it's hard to ask people for help, but I found once I did, that my friend were genuinely supportive and did anything I asked. Might be worth a thought.

Hope this helps a little, and I am sure you will also get virtual support on here too. Best wishes 

Thank you so much for your kind support. I will do what you have suggested. Take care of you xx

Hi Dawn

The anaesthetic is probably not helping your mood at the moment.On top of everything else that you are coping with, anaesthetics really do play havoc with your body and mind.  I would not relish going through another op so it must be really hard to sort of be back at the beginning again. Look, you are going to get through this, I just know you are. When I think back to what I was like 48 hours after my op I was dreadful, crying and miserable. Don’t be hard on yourself. Definitely get in touch with Macmillan helpline and see if there is any help out there. Are there any day centres that your mum could visit for a morning or afternoon? There are usually volunteer drivers that can provide transport. Don’t be afraid to ask for help. We are all here for you. We are all sending you tons of hugs.

Evajean x

Hi Dawn70,  You are feeling a little down right now and it is normal as you have been through so much already.  On top you are a caregiver and hugs to you for taking care of everyone.  The problem is you need some TLC too and I think the Macmillan support line could help.  It is hard to always be the rock.  I had those feelings too as I didn’t want to cry and express how I felt.  Stoic is not always the best thing but Al I did was wimped now and then snd move on.
I am not surprised your breast is more sore as this is the second operation in 6 weeks and you were still healing from the first one.  Nothing like doing it again to make you more sore!!

 I don’t know how old you are but I was diagnosed at 72 and also thought about mortality etc.  I had never had a health issue that made me look at it.  But on a positive note I had my first mammogram in August and saw my breast surgeon too.  He was so positive that it rubbed off on me and I am working on waking up each day and being thankful.  My hubby was very supportive when I was going through this but he went and broke his collarbone and needed surgery on it 2 days before my second lumpectomy so I was the fittest of us two so didn’t get a chance to rest.  I did well too and so did hubby.  

Guess my advice is grab rest when you can and maybe your son can help more too.  
Takecare

Barbara

Although I wasn’t as sore after re excision than first op I was more emotional. As someone said I think it’s because you feel like you’re back at the beginning again instead of moving on to next stage as you’d expected. Also there’s the wait again for results. Also I felt as if people thought I should cope better as it wasn’t as big an op which made me feel bad about saying anything negative. You’ve got a lot on your plate so please accept any help offered or don’t be scared to ask for help. Take care x

Hey Barbara, my son is struggling with his mental health, impacted by him being on the autism spectrum. My diagnosis has properly knocked him. 

I do have people doing some stuff for me. My son is trying hard to do extra things but changes to his routine can be challenging. 

My mum is a good human. She and dad gave my son and I a home with them 9 years ago. My dad died in may of the first lockdown, with mum and I caring for him. Since my dad has gone, mum is getting increasingly unwell, she has Parkinson’s and pulmonary fibrosis. She would absolutely not go anywhere to give me a break, as she cannot see what I need a break from! She says that something needs doing, then tells me that she doesn’t expect me to do it. But she is not able, which leaves me!

I am such a moaner, sorry. My brother lives over two hours away, but really wants to help more. But mum refuses to let him do any jobs when he is here. I can’t keep up with everything alone. I just want to be wrapped in a hug and feel safe. I have been trying to think of a way that I could spend a couple of days away from home. Unsuccessfully, not helped by the addition of a bengal kitten to the family.

Dawn (52)!

P.S. the kitten was not my idea

Maybe it’s time to put yourself first and find a way you can have a few days for yourself. Perhaps your brother could come and stay with your Mum and your son go to respite? Are you going to get radiotherapy? Do you have a local cancer centre that might have ways to help? X

Hi Dawn. Gosh you have a lot on your plate and totally understand the dilemmas you face. Autism can be tricky because routine is so important but that goes out the window with cancer.  Then you have your mum. I know she means well but some mums don’t seem to expect so much help from sons which can be unfair.  She is probably still coping with losing your dad plus her own ailments. I am sure she is worried about you too but sometimes mums don’t always say what we want them to say. It would be fantastic if your brother could come and stay for a weekend. Would your son be ok staying with him and your mum. Then maybe you could book yourself into a hotel and just have some me time. It is easy for all of us to make these suggestions but I expect it is so hard for you to sort out. I hope it helps sharing everything on here. All we can do is send you lots of hugs.

Evajean x

Evajean, it does help to offload on here. I am truly grateful for all the support. I can say things on here that I perhaps would be unlikely to verbalise physically xx