Still feeling scared

It's a myth that we all feel lighter and happier once we've stopped the major part of surgery.  I'm 7 years down the line and accept that I will still have days/weeks where I just feel meh about it all.  You are still early days and just catching your breath.  Return to work when you feel fit enough.  Ensure you do phased return to ease you back in xx

Thank you so much, it’s so much easier to talk to people who’ve been through it all, I’m still trying to put a brave face on it to some extent. I am going to do a therapeutic and phased return as I know I don’t be fully ready yet. Thank you for replying and sending you love 

It's so British isn't it, putting a brave face on when underneath we feel like we are struggling to cope.  Yes definitely easier to talk to those who've been through or are going through same or similar diagnosis.  It's like when you suffer a bereavement, those who've lost the same relative at similar ages understand better.  I can still remember 34 years ago when as a 24 year old I returned to work after my mother's passing.  One colleague from same dept, but different section that I just normally acknowledge stopped to tell me how he understood having lost his mother when in his twenties.  He was the first person to tell me that the "year of firsts" is the worse.  I found so much comfort from his words, knowing he truly understood.  Roll forward to 10 years ago when I lost my eldest sister, again a work colleague who had also lost her sister was the best with her words.   Contrast this when another work colleague said to me when I returned to work after losing my father "OMG, I don't think I could be in work 2 weeks after losing my father"   She made me feel like a bad daughter, that I wasn't impacted by his death.  

I didn't really talk to family about my cancer diagnosis as I sought in my own stupid way to make them feel better about my diagnosis.  Took me a long time to realise that's not my responsibility but I also don't want to constantly talk and be reminded about. 

I broke my leg before finishing my phased return and the extra 6 weeks at home, working at home for 2 of them, was so helpful.  I felt ready to return then.

Hi Florida sunshine

As Grogg says it's a myth that we all feel good after our treatment finishes.  It's hardly surprising that we don''t always feel good after our treatment ends after all we are going from having numerous appointments for blood tests, scans etc to suddenly being left to fend for ourselves apart from the odd appointment to make sure the cancer doesn't return.  There is a very good paper by Dr Peter Harvey called After the treatment finishes - then what?  Here's the link for the article:  https://www.workingwithcancer.co.uk/wp-content/uploads/2013/03/After-the-treatment-finishes-then-what.pdf.  I've read it myself and it sums up perfectly how I was feeling after my treatment finished.

Hope this helps.

Wishing you the best of luck for the future

Best wishes

Daisy53

Don't have much to add to what has already been said but wanted you to know that you aren't on your own feeling this way. I too felt like this and still do. Still have wobble days but trying to get on with life which is hard. My story is in my profile if you click my name. I too have been referred for counselling although its about a 10 week wait. Side effects from drugs can cause anxiety too. I know that my achy joints are due to the tamoxifen but still its there in the back of your mind. Sometimes its just a case of taking it one day at a time... try and do one thing you enjoy each day will help xx

Thank you so much for the replies, really helps on days like today when my mind is wandering a bit too much. Tired minion the one day at a time is something I’m really focusing on plus trying to do the things I enjoy.

Thank you again xx

Thank you so much, I’m going to give it a read xx