Half way … I hope

hiya, I am at same stage . 4 EC done, 1 paxitaxol done, weekly, 11 to go!  then a break then radiotherapy...I know exactly how you feel, it's all about the hospital, the treatment, the anxieties and the side effects . I seem to have hit a brick wall too!  Hate going out now, even tho I have a nice wig, I can't wait to take it off.  seems like our old life is now cancer life. so far for me, side effects on both have been mild so far, getting a bit of backache today. Two round trips to hosp a week is tiring, 82 miles a week . are you doing stuff outside of everything cancer....I'm working from home reduced hours just so I don't lose myself altogether...we are still ourselves underneath it all, just hiding for a bit x  apparently much less likely to be or feel sick on paxitaxol which should make things easier? if in doubt take the anti sickness tablets I took 2 a day during EC and had no nausea at all. Good luck with chemo part 2 x

I felt EXACTLY like you during Dec, February time. I had a lumpectomy in August, 3 EC, 9 paclitaxel and radiotherapy. My treatment ended on March 8th. We went on holiday to Egypt on the 20th March and it did me the world of good. I relaxed and it felt great doing something normal.

Im going back to work today. My hair is growing back and my eyebrows and eyelashes are back! I still get tired but feel so much more like myself (although I doubt I'll ever feel 100% the same as my pre cancer life). I'll be wearing my wig as my hair isn't quite long enough yet.

Paclitaxel is much easier to cope with, your hair may start growing back. When you're in the middle of treatment it's so hard to see the end, but it will come. 

I agree - I found EC the hardest - it really stole my energy and appetite and my brain was really fuzzy. Paclitaxel gave me my brain and my taste back and a little more energy too. I was walking every day during chemo and that definitely made my tiredness a little easier to manage. I must admit that when I finished everything I spent a week mostly in bed but I had been on the chemo treadmill for quite a few months and had pushed myself a little too hard through the last 2 treatments.

One month after chemo I could really feel my energy levels returning and 2.5 months later am just pacing myself esp in afternoons and evenings. It is surprising how your energy does come back - you will get back to running, just don't do too much too soon. I walk 2 minutes, run 30 secs to begin with and then gradually reduce walk time and increase run time by no more than 5 mins a week. You could even try that now if you feel you can on your better days in your chemo cycles. I tried to run on the day before chemo each time, with varying degrees of success!

It does come to an end, but it doesn't feel like it at the time and it can definitely make us feel rather emotional. Just hang in there and you will get through it and you will be you again.

I agree it's c**p but I suppose we have to be thankful there are treatments and we can survive.  I used to cycle and run a lot now I walk most days and have started to cycle 6 weeks post chemo.  I can only do 12 miles where I used to easy do 50 miles before. I did walk 15 miles one day last week on hilly terrain. 

I try to think of people who made it kylie Minogue and Sally Webster (in real life) and Jane tomlinson who sadly didn't but did some amazing achievements when she was ill. 

Have you heard of pinc steel. I friend just told me about it  . Rehab sessions for cancer patients if there's a centre near you 

Keep smiling xx 

Hi Sagey

sorey to hear that you have breast cancer and that you are struggling at the moment. Would you consider ringing the Macmillan helpline to talk to someone about how you are feeling? The number is 0808 808 00 00. The line is open from 8 am to 8 pm 7 days a week. 

Wishingmyou all the best with the rest of your treatment.

Best wishes

Daisy53

Thanks everyone! I have up to now tried to work inbetween cycles . It’s my way of clinging to normality .. I work at University college London where I’m being treated I’m a senior nurses dealing in quality of care. 
it’s nice to be cared for by my colleagues. Treatment 1&2 were ok I walked a lot and exercises but it’s racked up and I’m struggling as you gathered. Iv also put on 7 pounds so no hair and a bit chubby. I’m not a big girl but it shows Some days I feel weak as a kitten .. and I can’t eve get in and out the bath .. I’m breathless too .. anaemia ??… 

i have  4 adult  kids and I put on a very brave face and my lipstick and front it but it’s tough day in day out knowing there’s months to go 

who is this person iv become .. ?

thank you for giving me hope that I will recognise myself and my life one day ! Your are top people 

I went back to work today too! I absolutely loved it!! Was fantastic to be back with the kids. I hope you had a good day too x

I was in bed at 9.30pm

And by 3.30 my throat was so sore. But I LOVED it.

I hope work went well for you and that it was good to be back to  new normality with all your colleagues. I am a little in awe as I can't see myself being able to go to work for a number of months yet. I took my daughter to a play date and back yesterday and felt like I'd run a half marathon! More exhausting than exercise for some reason. I am so glad to hear that you have enough energy to return to work and that your trip abroad was so refreshing. I have a trip planned next month so am hoping it has the magical desired effect on me! Wishing you all the very best for your return to work and normal life. Sounds like you are recovering really well and it gives hope that we will all get there in the end.

Everyone is different, so please don't compare yourself to anyone else. You will get back to some sort of new normal, believe me. 

Ive tried to be positive since my diagnosis last year, it's been hard sometimes but I've just given in when I've needed to. I'm still having Herceptin injections until December, every three weeks and am taking Anastrozole for the next 5-10 years so cancer is still very much in my life but it's been so good to get back doing normal things.

Dont rush anything, YOU are what matters, not work. 

gentle hugs xx