This will never be ok !!!!

Aw Harleybear I am sorry you are feeling ilke this but I can.totally relate to this.   I have aged 10 years in 6 months.  I hate looking in the mirror but i have.to to draw on bloody eyebrows.  it hasn't helped my confidence when a friend came to see me and said my face had changed. I hate feeling like this but put on a fake smile every day.  Maybe once we see our hair/eyebrows/eyelashes grow back we might start feeling a little bit better.  You need to do what is right for.you regarding your wedding and if it upsets your.family then so be it.

Take care xxx

Thanks Mel . I don’t even bother drawing eyebrows on . Mine did grow back in between treatments so did my hair but it’s a different colour and hate it .  I will probably start losing it again soon now I am back on chemo .   I know what you mean about painted smile . All too often I find myself doing this and then feel awful . I cry alone in the car a lot !!! Xxx

I’m so sorry to read this 

It’s true after diagnosis that we are never quite the same again isn’t it 

It’s a huge thing to get your head around and depending on your diagnosis and treatment things can really affect us in ways we weren’t expecting 

I wish I had something useful to say but know you’re not alone 

Have you had or would you consider counselling ? 
love and hugs 

L xx

Sending you a massive hug

I can feel your sadness  

People say the most stupid things , I know it’s not from a bad place but still it affects us so badly and those words stick  

love and hugs 

L xx

Harleybear,I totally get what youre saying..

I fear the same feelings,my biggest worry is that ill never be me again,and its terrifying.

Im sending you a big hug,we are here for you,and its ok to not be ok about it x

Bless you it is so hard to accept the new person you have become. I had right mastectomy in November 2021 and level 2 lymph node clearance. Have just finished 6/6 chemo and am waiting radiotherapy dates.I understand how this consumes your identity no hair eyelashes eyebrows look in the mirror to a lopsided body.But we do have life and must try to celebrate that but so harsh and brutal treatments are difficult to overcome plus their side affects. If you can find strength to go ahead with your wedding or postpone until you grow stronger do try and think of the happiness it could bring you and your family a beautiful outfit can still be found and you should be proud of all you have fought through and remember others love you just as you are. Big hugs x

Thanks , it’s so hard . I fear I am still in denial as can’t touch it or look at it and it’s been more than 2 months . On the other hand the moves I do past the mirrors to avoid are quite laughable .   How are you doing ? Xxx

Thankyou   I think I am just having a really down week as the side effects been awful . Spoke to my oncologist today and they are changing some medication so hopefully today chemo will be better and I will perk up . How are you doing ? Xx

Harleybear. You are expecting too much of your self too soon.  It's ok not yo be ok with it.  People will understand if you can find a way of telling them.  If it's too much to say out loud the words write them down on paper/email/text/a notice board - ok I'm joking about notice board.  You've are still dealing with the trauma that a cancer diagnosis and treatment is.  Your partner is well intentioned telling you to get a dress - it's his way of saying "I still want to marry you" as reassurance.

Tell him it's something you want to do when you have energy for it.  After treatment as a way of a new beginning post treatment.   xxx

Hi Harleybear 

I’m so sorry that you are feeling like this.. As Mel said you need to do what’s right for you as regards your wedding even if it means upsetting your family, you are the most important person right now.  Hopefully one day you will see yourself for the brilliant person you are but until then you keep on sharing your troubles with us and we will support you all the way.

love & hugs

Daisy xxx