Does the numbness ever go !!

It is such a rubbish feeling but I really believe you will get there. I am just over seven weeks post mastectomy & felt like you did a couple of weeks ago. I have really noticed how much I’ve come on the last couple of weeks. I’m having really good days & they are sometimes in a row. I am getting out and about. I would say yesterday was the first day I felt properly like myself & felt happy. Today not so much but almost. I hate the roller coaster. The telescoping in and out when you feel okay with something but then feel overall everything is terrible. But I have faked it when I can. I have made myself move. I have made myself see people and as if by magic here I am (sometimes)

I have found regular exercise and some yoga/meditation has helped. The part of your brain that deals with trauma is just so active. I needed to shut it down for the normal part of my brain to start working again. I found calling a helpline was useful & I visited our local cancer support centre for a massage which really helped. I am now doing the Moving Forward course online with Breast Csncer Now. When I called the helpline I was so upset but they were so kind and lovely it really helped. 

it is crap. I knew that there were things that would help but I resented having to do any of them. But they did help. I am starting to feel some loving kindness towards my adapted body. I might as well love it as it is the only one I have. I am focussing on being bloody proud of my scar & whst it represents. What a thing to have managed to do in order to survive. I have also searched out women a few years down the path. Hearing how amazing they are now has helped no end. 

I didn’t feel connect to that part of my body at all but I make myself massage it well everyday in front of the mirror  I also put my hand on it during the day almost to reassure it  This was hard initially but has helped it finally start to feel real & a part of me  

i hope you find something helpful in my ramble. Much love to you xx

Hi. I’m 9 months down the line and only the scar is a bit numb. My armpit from clearance is worse. I found my chest tight and have been to occupational therapy and they have released some scar tissue that was stuck. It was an instant relief. 
Then numbness did improve for me but took a while. 

Thankyou , sounds like you have been so brave my go to mode is to avoid it at all costs .  Maybe I should brace myself and try a bit harder with it . Xxx

Thankyou xxx

Honestly the feeling goes. Although mine was 6 months ago I oil it with bio oil every day. It has definitely helped. I’m not on here to scare you but I honestly think you should get to know your scar and the area around it. I am Apparantly a rare case but I have now had 3 recurrences and all found because I have found them by knowing what my scar was like and noticing the differences. Like I said this is unusual case. Everyone’s case is different.  My daughter thinks l look cool which is somewhat reassuring!  Maybe with time you will be able to look at it and touch it. My numbness is completely gone and that’s after 3 more little incisions. Keep going and you will get there. Xxx

It's not easy though.  I have found trying to be nice to "it" has helped.  I am now fine naked in most situations :-).

Also, apologies for misunderstanding when you meant the area being numb.  I interpreted you meant emotionally.  I was clearly projecting :-)

I am numb about it emotionally as well can’t look at it , or touch it .  I hate the prosthetic boob too . The top a half of my body was the only part I could ever bear to see in the mirror , haven’t even got that now . xxx

I'm not in love with the prosthetic boob either.  It'll be fine if I am going a bit formal or professional but I can't see me using it that much.  I got a Knitted Knocker this week and I love it.  Great shape when I wear a proper bra and really comfy.  If I want shape I will use that mainly I think.  But I want very much to be at peace with my body as it is and that does mean being flat out in the world sometimes. This matters for comfort as much as anything else.  I have been getting a few tops that are styled right to reduce the impact.  I have also bought a gardening smock so I can dig the allotment without a care.  

I had a bit of a programme to accept it.  I wore a buttoned top and sat in front of the mirror in poor light to reveal as much as I could bear initially.  But I think I got quite fascinated by it so managed to look at it properly before too long.  I had an idea I would get a tattoo to improve the look, but now I don't really mind it that much.  I looked up how to massage the scar and I am spending time twice a day to do it properly and with enthusiasm.  It does help if you can make yourself.  It should become habit if not normality soon enough.  I think if someone showed me their scar, I would want to be kind, compassionate and positive about it.  If I can do that for someone else, I can do that for me too.

My body is not beautiful by conventional standards but it is mine.  I have friends who live with significant physical disabilities so it would seem churlish to be down on a reasonably functional body in comparison.  I decided years ago to like my body.  Even the fat and wobbly bits.  This is a nice way to be if you can manage it. xx

https://www.patriciabannan.com/blog/nutrition/5-strategies-to-accept-your-body-now/

Thank you so much. I haven’t thought I could get a reoccurrence in that side I assumed because I had a mastectomy no breast meant no breast cancer .   Can I ask what type of breast cancer you had . Mine is TNBC so has a high reoccurrence rate I just didn’t think it would be there xx

Hi there, I started off last year with dcis then had lumpectomy then it came back and I had mastectomy after radiotherapy and it was triple negative breast cancer. They haven’t told me yet what this latest is but I’m expecting it’s triple negative again. I didn’t realise I could get recurrences either but I’m hyper vigilant now. But they tell me I’m a rare case. Xx