Hi there,
My partner (48) was told earlier this month that she’d had a recurrence of the breast cancer she had in 2018 (she was given the all clear in Sept of that year). This has come as a huge shock as she has been in excellent health and as recently as mid Sept had completely clear scans, and before late October, no symptoms to suggest anything was wrong.
Her cancer has metastasised unfortunately (spine and also evidence in fluid around but not in her heart and lungs), and we’re waiting back on the outcome of biopsies and other scans so we can understand more about what happens next. We understand, however, that her cancer is now considered treatable but not curable.
I have so many questions right now (including how can someone go from no evidence of disease and fit and healthy to metastatic but asymptomatic in the space of around six weeks!) but I guess my main one is around the potential treatment options she might be given.
How can we be sure that she is offered the very best options available to her?
We understand from the oncology team that it’s usual for people with secondary breast cancer to not have as an aggressive a treatment as they did the first time, and although we don’t know the full details of her diagnosis yet (we won't until next week), it’s our understanding (based on what the team has already said) is that this is what they will very likely propose: less aggressive treatments this time.
We’re concerned that big assumptions are already being made about my partner’s wishes regarding the possibility of having a more aggressive (and potentially, but not definitely), a more successful outcome in terms or reducing the cancer in her body, than one which may not be as effective but has fewer side effects.
While in general I understand the reasons for not offering more aggressive treatments for people with secondary breast cancer, she, like everyone, is unique. She responded excellently to aggressive treatment the first time (the team said she really outperformed expectations) and her underlying health and fitness is very good.
We just want to be absolutely sure that she isn’t automatically excluded from treatment options that may benefit her. But how do we do this when you don’t even know what options exist?
Similarly, we want her to be considered for clinical trials if she’s eligible for them and it’s in her interests, if it comes to it. But how can we be sure that this will happen? There feels like there is so much trust needed between us and her treatment team right now and it’s being pushed very hard as we have more than a sneaking suspicion that they didn’t respond quickly enough to an initial concern we had back in Sept which may have led to an earlier diagnosis.
Apologies for the slightly rambling message. I also hope it’s okay to ask this question here (feel free to move my post somewhere else if that’s appropriate).
