Can't think positive

Hi Youhavegotthis

Sorry to hear that you are struggling.  It's perfectly understandable that you don't feel positive about what's happening to you right now but easy for me to say I know but try not to let it rule your life.  I find going out for a walk even if it's a short one can help when I'm feeling down.

Have you thought about having counselling?  I had counselling and I found that it helped me. If that's a route you might like to go down you can contact the Macmillan helpline and they will no doubt be able to arrange that for you if you wish.

Be kind to yourself and try not to beat yourself up when you are feeling down.

Best wishes

Daisy53

Hi Youhavegotthisreally sorry this is such a difficult time for you, I cannot see how your cancer could spread during chemo, my lump started shrinking after the first chemo treatment so no reason to think yours will be anything different, one day at a time, hang in there.

Hi Youhavegotthis

I am sorry to hear that you are having a bad day. I have the same type of BC as you. I thought I felt mine getting softer before it felt like it was shrinking later on. However, I was convinced it was my imagination and wishful thinking.

It is easy to feel down on the chemo treatment. Which chemos are you getting and are you having targeted therapy as well? They are very good at choosing exactly the right therapy nowadays, which is why they go to such trouble identifying the receptors on the cells. The whole point of the chemo is that it is systemic full body treatment against the nasty gremlin cells. Chemo will be working for us and dealing with any which might have escaped. I finished the chemo in March but now am started on letrozole and continue with the maintenance doses of trastuzumab and pertuzumab every three weeks.

The reason they are doing the MRI part way through will be to double check that it is working. Try not to worry. You can ask for the lump dimensions on the MRI and also what they were on the pre-treatment one. I did this and my son calculated the reduction in volume for me which gave me a huge boost during the chemo.

Thinking of you. Let us know how things go for you.

Big hugs, you can do this and you will 

WallyDug

You are doing well youhavegotthis....talking about your feelings is good, we are all here to support you.

Keep writing and maybe seek macmillans help for counselling.

Katrina xxx 

Thank you for your lovely warm felt response. Can I ask how soon you started feeling the tumours soften? I just can't get it out of my head that it will have spread whilst I waited for my chemo to start in those 7 8 weeks. I'm just scared of those words being used when I get my mri results.

I am managing with the chemo it's self so far, I am on 3 different types of chemo which I'm guessing is for the her 2 positive status? I'm struggling with becoming bald and ugly and just need some positivity, but only time will see.

I definitely I will look into speaking with someone I just think if I hear the words it's still contained and not stage 4 I'll feel positive from them on. 

I hope you are keeping well and positive after your treatments it sounds like yours has been extremely positive x

I thought I could feel it soften about the time I got the 2nd chemo. As I said though, I was not sure about this at all. Before chemo started I had felt as if it had grown. However, the surgeon and BCN said that it was a tissue response to the biopsies. I certainly felt a lot of expanding pressure from the lump when I was waiting the 6 or 7 weeks for treatment to start. The pressure went away quite early on the chemo.

I went on to get a complete clearance from the chemo [EC + Doctaxel with the T &P added in from dose 4]. I wish you a complete response also.

All the best

WallyDug