**SEPTEMBER OCTOBER NOVEMBER 2021 BREAST CANCER CHEMO**

Interestingly I never went totally bald... But I did use the scalp cooling for the first two Chemos before abandonding it. I had a pixie cut... Which I didn't like and I felt made me look ill, plus I was still losing hair. It got very tatty and looked awful so eventually I got husband to clipper it to a number two after which I felt it looked more neat and tidy. I also felt like me again which was strange but there you go. I have an assortment of scarves and hats I use when out. A wig for high days and holidays. ( Rarely used to be fair though it looks nice) and fancy free and bald at home or amongst family. 

Morning,I am starting my chemotherapy on Monday. I have to have a picc line put in on Monday morning then chemo in the afternoon. The cold cap is not available on that day  which is upsetting me although I realise it might not have worked for me.
My treatment was supposed to start a couple of weeks ago but was delayed because my special needs daughter caught COVID, fortunately she is much better now.

I am at that not sleeping stage at the moment due to anxiety. The family don’t really talk about what’s happening. I don’t have any close friends because I have spent the last 20 years as a carer for my daughter which has been isolating.

hoping I get the chance to change my life when I come out the other end of treatment but can’t see that far ahead at the moment.

sorry for the miserable post.

Hey there Gilliebean welcome to the group. I've completed my Chemo and found posting on this forum a huge support. It's nice to have people outside the family where you can vent, moan, worry with... And see the funny side too! Glad your daughter is feeling better. 

Don't worry about the cold cap. Some find it great of course... Boy it was not for me. I was so relieved when I made the choice not to continue. I thought losing my hair would be Awful. It wasn't. It's really exciting to see how it will grow back. I'm taking photos for posterity. 

Also I am keeping a journal. Chose a nice looking notebook and when I want to scream and shout or cry..I write it all down. Really helps me and helps me sleep after too. Might be worth a try 

Good luck. The chemo is challenging, but it is do-able. The hardest bit is the waiting. 

Hello Gilliebean

so glad your daughter is feeling better. Like lblodwin I found this thread so valuable. I usually keep a journal but really having to force myself to write in it, when I do though, I find it helpful. I was all in a meltdown about future plans and big decisions, and ignoring all my own advice to myself to take it one day at a time. I could see no end to treatment and no future but was also trying to plan. Then about 10 days ago someone helped me think about the current situation in a different way and I have been better at doing a day at a time. It’s whatever works I guess. 

I’m sorry scalp cooling isn’t available when you wanted it, I have mixed feelings about hair. I had about 40-50% after 1 scalp cooling but it was not my hair and I was relieved to get a crop. Look Good Feel Better organisation has helped me to do just that, if you have time or energy to look them up.

Fran x

Hi Iblodwin, Historywomen

Thankyou for your replies. I think I will be better when the treatment starts, I felt ready to start and then it was delayed so that was hard and with the extra worry that I might catch COVID while caring for my daughter and it would be put off again but thankfully that didn’t happen.

I think keeping a journal is a good idea and I will book onto the Look Good Feel Better.It is helpful to read people’s experiences on the forum and hear people getting through this and coming out the other side.

Gillie

Hi Gillie, Fran and everyone

I found it really helpful to hear from people who had completed their treatment so I'll share a wee update and hope it helps all of you still going through it or about to start.

I am now 10 1/2 weeks post chemo, 7 weeks post RT.  Tonight I am going out for dinner!!!  First time in 9 months!! I would have gone out sooner but I do worry about Covid.

My energy levels are improving and there are lengthening periods each day where I feel myself again

My hair is coming back, albeit a good bit greyer than before!! My eyebrows and eyelashes are also coming back well. In fact I'm going to need an appointment to have my eyebrows tamed soon!!  It took almost 8 weeks for my hair to go.  I had had it taken back to a number 2 just after my first cycle and am so glad I did.

Going through chemo is obviously something I will never forget but I have to say that a lot of it is already a bit of a blur.  It is probably the hardest thing we will ever put our bodies through but our bodies are amazing!!! 

Take each day as it comes, never be afraid to ask for help and use this resource.  This is a great place to offload fears, worries, frustrations and seek advice.  My one major piece of advice would be to take the supplementary medication you need to get through the side effects.  I was initially reluctant to put more drugs into my system but that was a mistake and resulted in 2 lengthy stays in A&E.

Fran, I am looking forward to my goody bag from LGFB after the make up course. I am doing a hair loss/regrowth one later in the month and have also signed up for the body confidence one in December. 

Good luck to all, you will get through it and amaze yourselves!

Lynne xx

Hi Lynne 

Thankyou for your positive post, it’s a great help to hear from people who have been through this and are coming out the other side and picking up their life again.

Hope you have a lovely evening out.

Gillie

Lynne

thank you so much for  your post, I find it so helpful reading other people's experiences. I'm very apprehensive about chemo but just got to get on with it now. 

ive done the LGFB make up and nail workshops. I'm signed up for the wigs, scarves and eyebrow one next week. They are so good. Lovely to see other women too and share experiences and fears.

Lou x

Hello

to everyone just starting out on the rollercoaster of chemotherapy.

Like Lynne I am out the other side now…16 weeks post chemo and 11 post radiotherapy. 
I thought I’d just pop an update on here too, when I started chemo in January it felt like an eternity till the end point in June. It is a bit of a rollercoaster both emotionally and physically but there are loads of tips and advice that can help on here, I found it was a great place to offload when I didn’t want to burden family and needed someone who understood to just say ‘I get it’ 

Self care is really important, listen to your body and rest if you need too…get/take help from anyone that offers, no need to be a hero, your body will be going through a lot as chemo progresses.
Take it a day at a time, don’t expect the worst, it might not happen, we all cope differently…I used the cancer mindfulness on Headspace which I found really useful. 

Take the extra meds, don’t suffer nausea or discomfort, most of it can be helped by your  team. I wasn’t sick once taking the tablets and that was a big worry for me. 
I now have a cute pixie crop of regrown (grey) hair but love my wigs too when I want to feel glam.
All my eyelashes and eyebrows are back and I now need a leg wax! I too feel like it was almost a bad dream, I can’t believe I even feel like that so quickly…some chemo days are hard but totally doable and some are better…enjoy the good days and know the bad ones pass, every cycle is one closer finishing…

Good luck to you all, I’ll pop on and see how everyone is doing, any questions just ask! 
denise x

Funny you mention the leg wax. The hairs on my legs are growing back too. I'm less than impressed. Going to have to remove them. That was one aspect of the chemo I rather liked LOL