Devastated by results

Hi Helen2021, so sorry the results were not what you hoped for. There are definitely lots of folk here who had node clearance and did well afterwards. I will try to remember some but might take me some time as my memory is rubbish. Just wanted to respond quickly and say there’s still lots of hope. Sending love and a big virtual hug for now, Hfxxx

Hi Helen2021,

So sorry to hear your results and how this has made you feel. 

My sister had to have all her lymph nodes removed, followed by chemotherapy and whilst it’s not easy, she has been cancer free now for over 8 years. I know it means more treatment and that is hard, but lots of lovely ladies recover and carry on afterwards, so there is still lots of hope to hold onto.

Thankfully for me, my lymph nodes were clear but because my cancer was HER2 positive, I have still had to have chemotherapy - just done week 8 of 12 and whilst obviously no one wants to go through it, for me it has been largely manageable.

Sending hope and positive vibes your way, with a huge virtual hug, xx

Hi Helen. It’s Jennybelle here. Oh. My heart goes out to you. I was to have a few lymph nodes removed, then half, then all. My cancer did not spread to anywhere else. This could be the same scenario for you, so try not to despair. I found that finding an interest to concentrate on took my mind away from thinking of cancer all the time.But it’s hard to start that. Please know that I will be thinking of you. I wish you the best of luck. Take care.

Kind Regards

Jennybelle

Thank u all so much. I am going back to work for a couple of weeks which should help. I just need you all who have been there to give me some hope I guess. I am exhausted from just over thinking it all

Helen2021 Sorry to hear you are struggling. I'm one of the many other ladies who have been there. Your post reminds me of how I felt when I went for the results of the mastectomy and SNB and was told that they found cancer in 3 nodes, although they had looked fine on scans. I was devastated - literally I fell apart. However, luckily the lymph node clearance was done quickly and they didn't find any cancer in the remaining nodes. I then had chemo and radio. It has been very tough but the lymph node clearance was about 18 months ago now and I am trying to look forwards. Although this will challenge you more than you may ever have been challenged, you can do this. Just because some of your nodes were affected doesn't mean it has travelled anywhere else. Hopefully the lymph nodes have done their job and stopped that happening. Take one day at a time. if you think too far ahead you will exhaust yourself, as it sounds like you are doing already. One day at a time. Dig deep because you can do this and come out the other side. Hang in there. Sending hugs your way xx

Hi Helen2021 Sorry to hear that you find yourself in this situation. This journey we are all on is a real rollercoaster and changes in diagnosis or treatment plan are very common but very difficult to deal with.
Positive nodes certainly do not mean that there is no hope. Many ladies have several positive nodes and go on to have long happy lives.  Whilst there undoubtedly is a risk of some stray cancer cells having travelled on elsewhere, the lymph nodes actually do a pretty good job of stopping the cells in their tracks. And you may well find that all further  nodes removed are clear of any disease. 
You will have to have chemo if there is more than one positive node but this is a ‘belt and braces’ & I have told myself that the  chemo puts me back in a similar situation as ladies who had no positive nodes. 
Your consultant may offer a CT scan which would give you peace of mind that there is no spread and chemo will deal with stray cells if there should be any. It would certainly be worth discussing the possibility of a scan with your breast cancer nurse and telling her of your fears would definitely be a good idea. 
I do totally understand how scary this whole journey is but your positivity will return. Lots of us have been in a similar situation to you and you will find lots of support on here x

Thank you I appreciate your support

Thankyou I went back to work on Friday supposed to be phased but they have asked me to do full time due to operation al issues. I was exhausted at the end of Friday and slept like a log. Had a mire positive day on Saturday but again. Was exhausted by about 4 all i did was some errands in the car and walked by forever friend T my dog a short distance again slept well. Hoping I can get my positive head on again.

You are all so supportive it makes me cry but I am so grateful to you all. All the people on this thread please know I need you just now

Thankyou

Hi again Helen2021 You need time to recover from surgery and your current anxiety is undoubtedly contributing to your exhaustion. I expect some people will advise you to take further sick leave and that may be an option for you. I know that I need to keep myself busy to keep the constant worries under some control and that may be how you feel. You just need to do what is best for you but do make sure you rest when you need to. You are going through an awful lot right now. Do you have family or friends who can help you out? Or who can st least help to divert you from the constant worry? 
I am sure we all have bad days when we worry about what lies ahead. I know that I do and at times it can be very difficult. We have to learn to deal with those thoughts and those days in whatever way we can but you are still right at the beginning of this process and I am sure your worries dominate everything else. 
And I do think a chat with your BCN or one of the nurses on here could be helpful. And they may even be able to offer some counselling. At the very least they have lots of experience of helping others in a similar situation to you. And you can always find some emotional support on here. 
How long do you have to wait for your surgery? Hope it isn’t too long as the unknown is always do much harder to deal with than the facts. 
Take care and do let us know how you are getting on. 

Hi Thank you you are helping me so much. 14 April is second surgery you are right waiting is the worst. I th I k it was such a shock when they said more surgery I was prepared for radio or chemo but did not think surgery was in the list!!! I am beginning to handle it I think and work for me is a definite must I have a partner but when he us at work or the middle of the night are the pinch points. I have now got a stack of books on kindle so as soon as I start to wobble the plan is to read.

Thankyou

Helen