Lost my Soulmate after 37 years together....and it hurts so much....

I wonder if the Bereaved spouses and partners forum would be a place for you to get some advice from people in a similar situation? 
I hope they can help. 

I think Moppers is right that you will find support from a bereaved group but we can still send you our cyber hugs and condolences too.

I have always felt death is such a strange situation. I suspect that however hard your wife fought it, in the end she has peace ...no more pain and suffering. I have no doubt that is what you wanted for her.....But it is those of us who are left behind who have to live with the loss . The gap left by someone you have been with for 37 years will be huge. It isn't helped by comments from friends that you get over it.....it wouldn't be right if you did. Thankfully though you have 37 years of happy memories. They won't physically fill the space but they will help you keep your wife close. Make sure you talk about her as often as you need. Share those happy times. Remember everything that was good.....I can imagine instinctively  you want to ask ''why has she gone?' and I can't answer that....'why her and not me?' ..... .but you can talk about her. What did she like doing? Would this have annoyed her or that pleased her? Look at her picture at the sea. She enjoyed the holiday in x , didn't  she? You can keep her with you in your memories. Don't feel guilty about doing so. If friends think you should move away from talking/ thinking about her.....change your friends. I suspect you will gradually find that you can find a few different interests but no one expects it to be yet..........

Take care of yourself. I'm sure your wife knew how much you loved and cared for her but she wouldn't want you to despair now she isn't physically here. She would want you to look after yourself. ..afterall she needs you to keep her memory alive.....Cry if you feel like it but don't forget to laugh at your memories too. Your wife was a whole person so not just tears to fill that gap.......

I hope you find someone on the Bereaved group that you can empathise with and you can support each other but if not.....we are always here.....Awake has people chatting day and night....Walking back to Happiness usually has very calming photos or you can start your own thread as you have here but you might find it upsetting that many posters in this group are sucessfully recovering. 

Take care.Stay Covid safe.

Thinking of you...Karen

So sorry for your loss and so glad you reached out.  It's such a difficult time and as Lacomtekp you don't get over losing someone but you do accept the loss.  I remember when I lost my mother when I was 24 that a friend who had also lost a parent said you have a year of "firsts" and that's the worse year.  So first birthday, xmas, anniversary etc. and you will feel dread and anticipation as each one looms but after the first year you feel less stressed by these dates.  They will always be sad days but you will also find yourself talking about happier times with family & friends and it gets easier to deal with.   They are never gone, they are always in your heart.  it's 32 years since I lost my mother but I still think of her daily and talk of her frequently and sometimes I still get teary eyed when thinking of her not being here.  It's ok to be ike that.

Here is a link to Bereaved Family & Friends group.

Thank you....yes someone else said about the years of FIRSTS...just not coping very well, because i am not good on my own. Having someone around always since we were kids is very difficult and then she's gone, even though for the last three years we knew as that was the final prognosis that it was coming but nothing prepares you. I have wonderful friends and they have so far been amazing. Its when i shut the door at night that its difficult.... 

so sorry for your loss. As the others say, you can always post on here and someone will be around for you. Take care,

@MODman, So sorry to hear of your loss. Your life is obviously intertwined with your wife's after knowing and being together for so long. Keep talking about her as often as you can and many people find it comforting to speak to the loved one and imagine what they would say in turn.Your feelings will be raw at the moment ,so as we often say on here be kind to yourself.The greaving process of a loved one is not easy and no doubt you will have bad days and days that are a little better- eventually the proportions will change. Take care of yourself and try to remember the good times you shared. Thinking of you Kwissy

My heart breaks for you,  

I agree with everything the others have said. All I have to add is that it might be worth asking if the hospice offers any services for the bereaved. They might provide counselling,  or have a support group.

Thinking of you, and sending a virtual hug.