Parent of a recently diagnosed young woman

Good afternoon, 

Sorry your daughter has had this news, I can only talk from my own experience but it took me along time to admit to myself let alone others that I actually had cancer. I told my daughter I had a bad infection and just painted on a smile. When I was diagnosed a second time it was my sister that sat me down and said can we call it what it is now. 

There are so many options and things can move fast, there is a lot to process. I think reaching out for support and advice and making sure she knows you are there is a good place to start. A good cuddle probably won’t go a miss either. I know others with more experience and knowledge than I have will also comment, I just wanted to wish you all well. My dad had passed away before I was diagnosed and often wondered what he would have said a said and done. You’re post made me think of him, so thank you ️ 

Hi Joe6287  A cancer diagnosis is always scary and I think it’s particularly tough to go through it at a young age. She will be getting the best possible help. She will know a lot more after her appointment - type, grade and extent all determine the treatment and order of treatment. Most people feel a bit better about it once treatment starts. Treatment, even if she needs chemo, is doable. You are carefully managed and given supporting drugs to help manage side effects. Most people also have good outcomes - there are lots of treatments these days. Wishing you both all the best. 

I’m sorry your daughter has had a diagnosis. It’s difficult not only for the person, but also for the people who love them. I was older than your daughter, but still (I like to think!) relatively young at 46 when I was diagnosed two years ago. What I can say from my experience is that the ‘not knowing’ parts are the hardest. It’s easy during those times to think the worst. When your daughter has more details of her treatment plan and can share them with you, I’m confident you will both feel better simply by knowing what is happening, when and why. x

Hi Joe6287

I am so sorry to hear that you and your family are having to walk this path! We were the same in June 2023, when our Daughter was diagnosed at 32 years old! She had given birth to her Daughter 9 weeks previously, so timing was crap, but so is cancer!!

Our Daughter felt better and more in control when we had a plan of treatment etc, we all pulled together to make things easier. There are a lot of emotions in the beginning, and to be honest we were all in deep shock, and waiting for results is very frustrating and nerve wracking, but they want to collate all of the information and results to put the right treatment plan together.

Our Daughter had tnbc so therefore had chemo, immunotherapy, surgery and then radiotherapy. She is now back to work, got married last year and enjoying life. 

We did go to appointments with her and our now Son-In-law, we asked lots of questions and her team were amazing.

wishing you all the best xxxx

What helped me was when people asked if I wanted to talk about it/what detail I wanted to share and who understood that sometimes I wanted to escape by talking about other things. 

There’s often a worry (for other people) about talking about their holidays, theatre trips etc because (temporarily) you’re unable to do those things. 

Take your cue from your daughter but I think we can already tell you’ll be an amazing support.