Hi everyone,
I've only been here a few days, and not been very proactive yet.
I have grade 3 invasive cancer in my left breast. Found during self examination at the end of December.
I'm due for a lumpectomy early Monday 2nd March. Followed by radiotherapy.
While I'm keen to get it done, I'm quietly "cacking myself".
Quietly, because i don't want my family and friends to know how scared I am of all the unknowns.
Illogically afraid of waking up with no boob at all, or not waking up and leaving my (adult) children with no parent, because we're coming up to 21 year's since their Dad died.
Afraid I won't be able to handle the pain, becausei can't have mang painkillers - even though I don't typically have a low pain threshold.
Having the role of sole parent for so long, I've adopted an "invincible" front, a veneer. It's very tiring.
My sleep is crapped up, a bit like when I was widowed.
I can't stay asleep, often waking after a couple of hours, and then again very early.
I've had to give up my oestrogen patches and my mirena coil, which i suspect is not helping.
Experiencing "power surges".
I'm also harbouring a great annoyance with my line manager; he is leaving very soon. Doesn't know me well because he's not been in the branch long. ... called me in 15 minutes before the end of my last shift.
I thought for a good luck/ goodbye chat, and threw in a quarterly review - in 15 minutes, without me having a chance to prepare... then said he was grading me "in the middle".
Now I won't be there for ages to plead my case and object!!
I suspect he was told to do this by an unfeeling manager above him.
Considering the timing, is this discriminatory?
Sorry, I've waffled, and didn't realise how much that was bugging me!
