Anxiety and depression after treatment

Hi Evilpixiece50

Welcome to the forum, I'm Daisy53 one of the Community Champions on this forum.  No need to apologise for what you call a gloomy introduction to the group, what you are feeling is perfectly understandable. 

Like you I struggled with my mental health after I had finished active treatment.  After I had my last chemo session I felt deflated as if I had been cut adrift.  I eventually decided to have some counselling to help me deal with how I was feeling and I felt that it helped me.  Maybe that's something you might consider.  You can phone the helpline on 0808 808 0000 to talk to someone about how you are feeling, they can even arrange counselling for you if that's what you'd like.  Alternatively if you have a Maggie's Centre or another Cancer Centre near you you can call in or phone them and they will also arrange counselling for you if you'd like as well as some holistic treatment for you.  I've had reflexology and I'm currently doing Reiki which I am finding helpful.

Wishing you the best of luck with everything.

Best wishes

Daisy53

Thank you so much. That's really helpful. I've felt quite isolated and lonely so it's so good to know that there's people to chat to who understand what I'm going through. I will look into counselling. 

Best wishes to you too

Hi Evilpixie (great name).  I think it is normal how you are feeling.  When I went through treatment, I just did it and wanted it finished.  It took me two years after treatment to cry.  There is a cancer charity called Penny Brohn and they do an online zoom session about life after treatment.  You might find this useful and as Daisy said you can phone Macmillan.  I had counselling that they arranged and it helped.  It is hard to talk to someone who hasn't experienced what you have been through.  Anyway big hugs and you are not alone.

Lee x

Thank you so much. 

It's good to know I'm not just going mad. I burst into tears trying to post a vinted parcel that's when I realised that I wasn't ok. I think during treatment you just plough through not having time to think. Afterwards it seems to hit you. 

Big hugs to you too xx 

I can remember initially feeling quite positive after treatment (2023) & very much in 'getting back to normal' mode. But since then I've had increased anxiety & have thought that perhaps it's only later that what's happened really hits you. And things like fear of recurrence & physical changes (including chronic pain, if you have that) can also get you down. Also, other people's assumptions that you're over it or should be. I do think that talking to someone can really help.

I think during treatment we are on autopilot getting from one thing to another. I haven’t cried yet at all and have only had a few days where I’ve stopped in my tracks and thought ‘is this really happening?’

I imagine once it’s all over I’ll have some kind of meltdown over something similar to yours. And that’s ok isn’t it, we’ve all been/going through something that only fellow sufferers know. 

Sending love 

Thank you  . It does help to talk and hear other people's experiences. 

There's no right or wrong way of dealing with it. I suppose it's just about getting through the best way you can. 

Much love 

I think sometimes it can be post traumatic stress disorder. We get pulled along in life, thrown back into work, appointments etc and don’t get chance to digest everything then when we do it is a shock to the system. 

Hi Evilpixiece5dc0 , lovely responses already from the fine folk here. Just thought I’d add  - There’s a paper which I’ve found really helpful over the years, by Dr Peter Harvey, called something like After the treatment finishes then what. I can’t post a link but it will come up if you do a search. Do have a look, I think it expresses really well how it can feel once ‘active’ treatment finishes. When my radiotherapy finished, a friend suggested a ‘girls night out’ to celebrate - I had to explain tactfully that it was the last thing I felt like. I was exhausted and still had the ‘shell shocked’ feeling that I’d had since diagnosis. I felt more like crawling into a corner than going out celebrating! And of course it wasn’t  ‘over’, I still had years of hormone therapy ahead. But I probably am guilty of playing it all down so I do think it’s hard for friends to realise the full impact of a cancer diagnosis and treatment. Love and hugs, HFxx

Completely get this. I remember one of the nurses saying to me, are you going to have a party when chemo finishes and I thought how. I still had to have radiotherapy, I was still waiting for appointments for bone infusions, another drug, scans, blood tests, still so much fear and worry, can’t just switch that off and celebrate.