Newly diagnosed

Hi GmaUber

Just to reassure you, no you are not falling apart. The response time between appointments/steps is normal as I understand it. Mine was similar. The meeting of the experts to determine the treatment options usually occur once a week before they send you an appointment to discuss options with the Oncologist.

Waiting in between is the pits. This phase is always the hardest. You can't help the way you feel. We've all been there. This takes time we jump from one limbo room to another until you finally get an answer/approach. 

Similar to you I was diagnosed with IDC too but it wasn't stage 2. I also have various medical conditions but I am still getting treated.

The people on this forum are great and their experience & support will help you any advice they can offer as well the nurse that will be assigned to you.

Sending you lots of hugs!

Sledge x

Thank you so much for your reply, I cried when I got it.   It’s just that other than two friends who are both nurses who understand and have been there for me so far.   It’s the only two normal conversations I’ve had in the circumstances, sympathetic, or is empathetic the right word?   

I have lots of friends around my area and all of them have sent texts, phone calls, popped to the house to see me and it’s been great to know that I have this support of everyone.    I am a widow and live on my own.    However, what I’m finding is that people say the silliest things, I really don’t mind when people tell me I have a lot to be thankful for in the sense that it’s Stage 1, and level 2.   The cancer wasn’t found in the lymph nodes so therefore hasn’t spread.   But most people tend to not say that, they say, oh it’s only level one, a lumpectomy should take care it that and minimal treatment after.   I’ll be fine.     I know people that say things along these lines are not meaning to be irritating but nevertheless I’m finding the more I hear that thought said in a few different variations the more irritated I get.   

I said to one very good friend who was saying exactly that and also comparing me to her husbands prostate cancer for which he didn’t have surgery, just radiation therapy and he was just fine.      I told her that a cancer diagnosis, whatever the stage or grade, whatever the treatment ends up being I’m sure it isn’t going to be pleasant.   It’s not something I’m looking forward to and I am feeling quite anxious.     It didn’t make any difference she still keeps on saying I should be positive and it’s only very small.    Etc etc.     This past few days I’ve stayed home and am avoiding people, I text my two nurse friends and they text me and I’m finding that I don’t want to be around anyone else.     At the end of this I may have no friends left.   

I am feeling quite depressed and alone and getting your message was just what I needed, someone who has been on this journey and understands.     I have a lung condition and cirrhosis of the liver both caused by Methotrexate which I took for years as a treatment for severe Psoriasis.   The damage has been done now so they have to decide whether I can have anesthetic and chemo is probably out as my liver wouldn’t take it.       I guess I just want to know so I can deal with it.   High Risk clinics are only held on Thursdays so it’s a few more days yet and I don’t even know if I have an appointment yet, they said they would phone with one if one were available.    

Thank you so much, I’m sorry if I sound like I’m ranting but I needed to get that off my chest.   I think they should publish more information what not to say when someone gets an awful diagnosis of any kind and also when you lose a partner, lots of people say similar things, meaning well but saying things that were quite hurtful.    Thanks for listening xx