Newly diagnosis not operable at present

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Hello I have been diagnosed with breast cancer this week. I have a large tumour covering my whole breast ( I feel so stupid for not noticing it). The consultant said I will need chemotherapy with the aim of shrinking the tumour to make it operable. 
Has anyone else been through this? 
I’ve had a CT scan and waiting on a whole body bone scan which I’m having on Wednesday. I’m freaking out that it’s spread all over my body. Do other people have these feelings?

I have 3 children (18, 15 and 9). It’s my daughter’s 16th birthday this week, so we haven’t told them yet. Let her enjoy her birthday. Im trying my best to hold it together, but it’s a struggle and I keep bursting into tears.

Any advice would be appreciated xx

  • H

    I’m sorry you’re going through this. When I was first diagnosed I was petrified and wanted answers quicker than I could get them. I think it’s completely normal to worry.

    Once I had a plan of treatment it helped no end. I also tried to keep a few ‘cancer free’ hours each day, where I banned myself from googling or talking about cancer between 4 and 8. We’re all different but this worked to give me some control and to help me not be in panic mode all the time.

    Wishing you all the best with your treatment.

    Angharad x

  • Hello Kate Mac 

    so sorry to hear your news and I under how difficult  itis when you think about your children It’s heartbreaking .

    but you are being so brave and you must try to stay that way . 

    try to find some more ways to look after yourself . Go for a walk every day , take a. Vitamin pill , talk with your friends and family , keep a diary , eat well and drink lots of water . Any of those will give you focus - and you are allowed to cry . It will let out some tension and may help you sleep . Do breathing exercises  if you wake in the night .

    i wish you all the best 

  • Thank you for the advice .. it’s really helpful. I particularly like to cancer free hours.. I think I will put my phone away for a few hours each day. Hopefully the extent of what I’m facing will be clear soon x

  • Thinking of you and please keep in touch . This forum  allows us to share fears and worries and empathy , which are difficult for others to really understand , without feeling guilty or selfish . It’s a big thing that you’re going through . 

    chin up , and  enjoy your daughter’s birthday with her x.

  • Hi  and another warm welcome to the forum. I had surgery, radiotherapy and am still on hormone therapy but I have seen lots of posts here where people had chemo before surgery. I’m sure someone with that experience will join the conversation but you could also start a new thread with a title like ‘anyone had chemo before surgery’ as that will alert people to it? I think it’s called neo adjuvant chemo but don’t quote me! Sending love and a big virtual hug your way, HFxx

    HappyFeet1 xx
    Don’t be afraid to cry. It will free your mind of sorrowful thoughts. – Hopi
  • Hello. 

    I had chemo for 6 months before surgery as it was triple negative breast cancer. It all depends what type of breast cancer you have to what the treatment plan is. 
    I have recently just had surgery. 21st January. 

    My tumour was 3.6cm on mammogram and over 5cm on CT scan before chemo. No lymph node involvement, biopsies clear. 
    After surgery it was measured at 4.2cm. Due to the size, lumpectomy was out of the window so had a mastectomy. 
    I am not bothered - just wanted the beast gone so that I can see my daughter grow up and blossom. 

    I had fears that I was riddled with it because of the size and how could it grow again after chemo! Anyways, I didn’t have a response to chemo however it kept it at bay. 
    They removed 5 lymph nodes - no cancer present.

    The point of this is that

    1. everyone is different. There is no set one thing. 

    2. it might be ‘big’ but doesn’t mean there is no potential plan.

    3. breast cancer is one of the most prevalent cancers which different treatments out there. 

    4. the waiting it the worst, I get that. Go on the emotional rollercoaster and cry if you need/want to cry. 

    5. ask for help when needed and don’t be afraid. 

    Good luck on your journey xx

  • Thank you to everyone who has taken the time to respond . I cannot tell you how positive this has made me feel. I’m going to just take each day at a time, try not to google and do my best to stay positive as possible. I think I’m still a bit in shock, I’m sure it will settle down xx

  • Hi Kate Mac.

    I had Two tumors 52x 63 mm in a small breast A/B cup size and as my nipple was involved mastectomy was my only option after chemotherapy and Phesgo targeted therapy. There was only a partial response to the treatment and the rest was removed with the surgery no lymph node involvement.

    I am now on Herceptin for total of 18 injections every 3weeks, Letrozole a hormone suppressant daily for 5 years and twice yearly Zolotronic Acid infusions.

    After my diagnosis I was so afraid as never had an operation before and thought I would never get through it but here I am now only 3 more injections to go and life is starting to look good again.

    Once you get your treatment plan you will feel better as you know whats ahead of you and amazingly you cope with it.

    All good wishes for your recovery Xxx

  • Hi there, welcome to the club that no one wants to join.  I'm one of the community champions here in this group and I wanted to say hello.

    Like you, I had a large lump and had chemo to shrink it (which it did remarkably to almost nothing) before having a lumpectomy.  I remember being told I needed a CT scan to check for spread and this totally freaked me out, so what you're feeling is pretty normal, but I understand CT scans are routine for larger lumps.

    If you click on my name you can read my story, and if you're bored of Google and interested in my whole journey, I blogged throughout and found that quite therapeutic  Blog link

    Best of luck with the scan and hopefully you get details of your treatment plan soon, I think once you have this, it all becomes a little easier.  Best wishes 

    Community Champion badge

  • Hi  Kate Mac,

    When my daughter was first diagnosed 20 months ago, she was very upset when they said chemo first to shrink the tumour. She was desperate for it to 'just be gone'. But trust the medical team - they see this every day, have great skill and experience and want the best for every patient. Daughter had 8 chemo cycles before surgery, 15 sessions of radiotherapy after the two ops. She's just coming to the end of 14 more chemo cycles.

    It's tough, there's no denying that. But trust your team and you will get through it. Sending you love, strength and a big hug. ((( )))