New diagnosis and so frightened.

Hi Nico1a, so sorry to hear of your diagnosis. I would say speak and try to be open with your family n friends on how you feel- it really does make a difference to just let it out rather than thinking of every worry or question in you own head. I found it helped also just telling myself, one step at a time, otherwise I knew things could feel they were spiralling out of control. It is a totally crazy place to be in and try and get your head around how you feel and everything going on but you're not alone and there is so much support and help out there. Hope this just helps you feel somewhat reassured and wish you all the best 

Hi Nicola,

I had a lumpectomy some months ago and lymph nodes removed, I finished my radiotherapy recently and have now been told I am clear. I really hope all of this will turn out well for you, but if it is the worse case scenario, don’t panic. It is a shock when you are told and it is important you take a bit of time to let it register and sink in. The strides made in modern cancer medicine these days is amazing and they can do so much for you. However, there is so much you can do for yourself too.

You have made the first big step by finding the Macmillan site, also do visit your nearest Macmillan centre, a list is on here, or ring them on 0808 808 0000, they are superbly helpful and give you lots of great info, do walks, talks, help with benefits, bills, open 10-4 Mon-Fri for coffee and chat and lots more. Please also get a good support structure in place, family, friends, good work colleagues, I’ve lived on my own for nigh on forty years, but realised you can’t do this on your own. I also go for a short walk every day (British weather permitting) and do a daily diary, this is mega helpful, as it gets everything off your chest and out of your system. It is important during the day to keep yourself occupied, hobbies, interests etc., it stops you from dwelling on what is going on. You may also find it beneficial to listen to a meditation podcast, they really help you to relax especially when you are trying to get to sleep. I use one called ‘Go Gently’ by Christine Elizabeth Smith, it does a lot for me. Whatever you do, do not visit Dr Google as there is so much conflicting information, your head will spin and it will stress you out, listen to your medical team and ask your breast cancer nurse as many questions as you want. Also, you get great support on here.

I know it’s hard sometimes, but try and keep as positive as you possibly can, have positive people around you and dump the negativity, above all, be kind to yourself - I promise you, you will get through this. You are NEVER alone and can always come and chat to us shower in here.

Keeping fingers and everything crossed for you.

Take care and big hugs.xxx

Hi Nico, 

So sorry to hear that you have been diagnosed with breast cancer it is a terrible shock when you first hear it however it has been found and it looks like you are getting well looked after to get you to the right treatment.

i was diagnosed with Her2-positive breast cancer at  75 years old it was terrifying but please God I am out the other side now after having weekly chemotherapy and Phesgo injections every three weeks followed by a left mastectomy.  It all sounds daunting but you can get through it even at my age.

i am now on preventative treatment which is a continuation of the injections although it has been changed to Herceptin only until early next year and a daily hormone tablet for 5 years.

my biggest problem has been anxiety which I am starting counselling for.

i hope you find this helpful and I wish you every success with your treatment. Xxx

I can imagine how you feel Nicola. I am on my own, and have told nobody about my diagnosis. I don’t like fuss, embarrassing sympathy, and stupid questions so I have kept it to myself. I do a lot of breathing exercises and meditation. I can seriously recommend it. It has kept me calm and stress free. I have had a lumpectomy and start 15 days of radiotherapy on 4th November. I had never had a mammogram in my life, but in June I noticed dimpling my left breast and could see a bump. After a mammogram and biopsy, I was diagnosed with Her2 positive cancer. There was a tumour measuring 2.5cm and another small one under 0.25cms. They were both removed successfully. They also removed 3 sentinel lymph nodes, one of which was positive, hence the 15 days of radiotherapy  ; 5 days on the breast, and 5 days each on the underarm and top of chest lymph nodes. What I am saying, is don't panic. You are in good hands now, and your surgeon will know what is needed. They are experienced, so listen to them and ask them questions. No question is stupid. As somebody else has said, do not start googling, and I would say not to listen to other people's anecdotes. They mean well, but every tumour is different and it's not helpful. Ask on here, because you will get sound, balanced advice from people who have gone or are going through what you are. Have you tried mindfulness? Highly recommended 

Such lovely comments from you all. I feel like I only want to talk about it with people who know how I am feeling. It’s like being sucked into a black hole alone that you can’t get out of. The malignant lymph nodes are freaking me out as I feel that means it’s spread. I wake in the morning in terror. My partner was looking at himself in the mirror this morning and putting eye cream on and it just seemed so ludicrous that he was bothered about his wrinkles when I’m worried about dying! I can’t start any treatment until they find the primary and I’m so scared they won’t. I’m scared of chemotherapy and losing my hair. All in all in just feel like I’m in a nightmare and i can’t wake up. But I thank you all and you are so right about not listening to other people’s anecdotes. They all have a story about someone they know but that’s not me or my situation so it doesn’t help me. Thank you again everyone x 

That's exactly how I feel about other people's anecdotes, and they really don't help. 

They will find the source of the cancerous cells, and whilst worrying is natural, you should really try to distract and divert your thoughts. A good box set is highly recommended, or just doing something you love. Don't feel guilty sending negative people away, or refusing to entertain them. You must be selfish now. Learn to say no to people. You will become more and more aware of the absurdity of life and people, but again that is natural. Don't worry about chemotherapy until you are actually told you need it. I thought I would have to have it, but luckily I don't, however if it makes you better, it's a reasonable price to pay. If you worry about losing your hair, see it as an opportunity to reinvent yourself, and choose a whole new look. You will be a different person going through this, so why not have a new image. Try and see the positives in every situation, because believe it or not, there are positives for every negative. If you struggle to see any, ask on here or message me; I bet I can come up with a positive. Above all, learn patience. Once diagnosed and treatment is started, the hospital is quick, but there will often be waits of 2-3 weeks. Use the time to work your way through what will happen next, write down questions, but above all learn to meditate, distract and practice mindfulness. 

I had my CT results on Monday and they are clear, although my consultant said the ‘small print’ they say to every cancer patient is there is never a 100% guarantee. I have eaten and slept for the first time in days! My MRI is on the 5th of November to try and find the lump. I can’t get on a treatment plan until then so everything is up in the air regarding the level of treatment and operation I will need. There is also the possibility of gene  testing being done. On top of all this I’m really worried my partner won’t provide me with the support I need. He already wonders why I’m still anxious when I had a good CT result. I don’t think he has a clue how tough this could all be and probably thinks I’m being OTT. I feel like he needs someone to sit him down and give him a reality check.