Biopsy - awaiting results - scared!!

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Hello -

I had a biopsy left breast on Thursday 4 July - my 65th birthday!! It was just one area on the inner, underside of my left breast. My previous mammo was 2019 with no concerns, then I had a thermograph two years ago and no sign of anything then. I can't even feel anything myself although the radiologist said she "thought" she could - she was very rough though, far more than I am on myself.

I get my results on Wednesday 10th so I know I am jumping the gun here - it might be (and I pray it is) nothing - but I am so scared and I am all alone in the world - I have nobody to share this with, speak to or get any comforting words from.

I live alone and have no children thanks to ovarian cancer and complete hysterectomy when I was 34 although I have no suspicions that the two are linked at all. I do have two dogs though who I took over from my late partner when he died 5 years ago from kidney cancer. Previous to that, they had lost their original mum to cancer four years prior and so I am desperate beyond words that I stay alive long enough to see them out - I couldn't bear for them to go through all this again and have to have yet new parents.

So I just wanted to say hello - and wonder if anybody has any words of encouragement for me. I have nobody to attend my results appointment with. My legs are still like jelly, my stomach is constantly churning although I have just eaten my first half a breakfast this morning since the biopsy - I just feel constantly sick with worry and have ongoing diarrhoea from a gastric episode just before all this happened so I don't suppose that is going to clear up in a hurry.

I look forward to hearing from … someone - thank you. 

Amanda

  • Hi Amandrose,

    I am so sorry you are going through all this on your own.

    It's not a nice journey, however there are lots of support for us here on this site and with cancer care and the team you will be assigned to if your tests do come back positive.

    I empathise with your stress worry and gastric upset. I experienced them all. It was the worst time if my life.

    I have had my lumpectomy and nodes removed. I tested positive and now need some chemo which will start next week before my radiotherapy and then hormone suppressants.

    I have been to he'll and back with worry. I have used this forum and my cancer team in Ayrshire who are looking after me well. I have referred to cancer care for additional support.

    You have done the right thing in reaching out and sharing with others.

    Please use this forum. Also chat online with the nurses who offer great support and reassurance.

    I wish you well on your journey. Kee chatting with other xx

  • Dear Amanda,

    It's great you have reached out for some support and encouragement. It makes total sense that you are feeling very anxious and concerned. 

    I hope your results come back ok, but even if the worst thing happens the care and support available is amazing. Please don't hesitate to call Macmillan they offer great advice and emotional support too.

    We are all on here going through similar difficulties and everyone is routing for you. 

    See if you can keep busy and get out of your head with activities that help you focus on other things when you can. 

    If your really struggling you can ask Macmillan for counselling it's free. I had 6 sessions via Macmillan and my counsellor was fab helped me come to terms with my cancer diagnosis and treatment. It really helped. 

    Also there are community support groups see if you can reach out to build support around you. 

    Hope this helps Sparkling heartRelaxed

  • Hi Amandrose,

    I am so sorry to learn you are going this. I am 63 and had a lumpectomy nearly four months ago and lymph nodes removed, this week I was told I am clear and am just awaiting radiotherapy which is normal after breast cancer surgery. It is a shock when you are told and it is important you take a bit of time to let it register and sink in. I sincerely hope everything turns out fine, but If this turns out to be the worse case scenario, don’t panic, there is a lot you can do for yourself and that others can do for you.

    You have made the first big step by finding the Macmillan site, also do visit your nearest Macmillan centre, a list is on here, or ring them on 0808 808 0000, they are superbly helpful and give you lots of great info, do walks, talks and lots more. Please also get a good support structure in place, family, friends, good work colleagues, I’ve lived on my own for nigh on forty years, but realised you can’t do this on your own. I also go for a short walk every day (British weather permitting) and do a daily diary, this is mega helpful, as it gets everything off your chest and out of your system. It is important during the day to keep yourself occupied, hobbies, interests etc., it stops you from dwelling on what is going on. You may also find it beneficial to listen to a meditation podcast, they really help you to relax especially when you are trying to get to sleep. I use one called ‘Go Gently’ by Christine Elizabeth Smith, it does a lot for me. Whatever you do, do not visit Dr Google, as there is so much conflicting information your head spins and it stresses you out.

    I know it’s hard sometimes, but try and keep as positive as you possibly can, have positive people around you and dump the negativity, above all, be kind to yourself - I promise you, you will get through this. You are never alone and can always come and chat to us shower in here.

    I wish you loads of luck for your operation, take care and big hugs.xxx

  • G'mornin Amanda, welcome to the forum. I'm so glad to know that you have managed to find your way to this supportive space.

    I am so sorry to hear of your worrying news. And on your birthday too. The waiting for results is such a difficult time. Naturally, our thoughts go to very unwelcome places, it's what brains do! Yet, you are right, you may not be dealing anything sinister at all.

    I hear that you have experienced much loss and are alone in the world.  I encourage you to lean on the support available here. It is a holding, nurturing space. The women here know what it is to be in that strange and scary  waiting place.

    I know that others too will soon respond. Though it may feel it, you are not alone. Here you have found a 24hr community,  who will stand beside you.

    Take really good care, draw on all your feel good activities, you will find you have many more resources than you know.

    Keep in touch

    Sending the hugest hugs. Shaka

  • Thank you everyone - its is comforting to read the supportive posts on here - I'm glad I found you.

    Now I'm aware of every little twinge etc and wondering if its spread and stuff.  I've had head shooting pains for days and you know what I am thinking but its probably just stress and lack of sleep but imagination runs wild doesn't it?

    I have asked my local Macmillan to a chaperone to my results appointment so hopefully if they have someone available that will help.  I am reading that if you have surgery, and I guess it depends on what you have done, but that you can be out the same day?  I'm just thinking of finding pet sitters - it would be great if I didn't have to be away from home at all. 

    Love and healing to you all xx 

  • Hi Amanda I’m so sorry this is happening to you. I really hope that your biopsies come back clear. If not then when your team has a plan for you it makes it a little easier. The waiting on results is always hard especially if you have nobody to talk to. I had chemo? Then a mastectomy and node clearance and I was out the same day and then radiation and oestrogen blockers for 10 years. MacMillan are great online and in your hospital and there are Maggie’s centres that can give you information. Hope always hun. Jxxx

  • Welcome here

    you will get so much support

    defo call macmillan nurses too they are incredibke

     I really understand your stresses. I think us women just revert to worrying about everyone around us. All will be well. Even if the results are not what you want to hear, you see so many positive stories here and those doggies will be wagging their tails all the way with you! 

  • Dear Amanda,

    Well done, for getting this far with your treatment, and taking the time to put pen to paper, this is not always easy.

    I can see that you have had some excellent replies and advice, you have also taken on board, I feel you are more positive than you are giving yourself credit for. Please take any help offered, try to join the cancer groups, you will meet some amazing, kind people to have that special cup of tea with.

    Wishing you health and happiness ahead, keep posting to let us all know how your getting on

    with the biggest hugs Tili x

  • So, just back from my results appointment.  Hmm - mixed views.  It is a small and slow growing invasive duct carcinoma - grade 1.  They have no other gradings apart from that atm.

    The initial plan is a lumpectomy with surrounding tissue and a couple of lymph nodes to see if it has spread.  If it hasn't then radiotherapy and hormone suppressants as it is a hormone feeder (which is surprising as I had a full hysterectomy aged 34 (I'm 65 now) and have lived on artificial hormones since which aren't as strong as natural ones.)

    If it has spread then the real battle begins - mastectomy, full lymph removal, chemo.  But I will have to wait another 3 weeks after my initial op to find out.  I can't believe something that is currently small and slow growing will lead to this?

    I need to find someone to babysit me for a night and look after my dogs - I can have day surgery but I live alone, and have nobody to rely on so does anyone know where I might find a dog friendly house/person/pet sitter to stay over for a night?  I live in Thetford, Norfolk.

    Hope you are all well and bearing up?

    Amanda x

  • Hi Amanda have you tried “borrow my doggy”, someone might be delighted to have your dog for a couple of days. 

    If you are alone could you possibly ask to stay in one night??