Hello everyone
I suppose I am using this as an opportunity to say hello as I have recently found myself becoming part of the breast cancer community. I also wanted to be able to write about how I am feeling.
I found a lump on 1st Feb and was quickly sent for testing (mammogram, ultrasound and biopsy). Following these I went back to the hospital this week and was told I have breast cancer. The lump I had found was clear, the cancer was identified in my other breast where I can’t feel a thing so that was a surprise. I am scheduled for a lumpectomy 12th March and will have more tests before. MRI was yesterday and mammogram with dye some time next week. I cannot fault the care and speed of what I have been provided and am grateful to everyone who is looking after me.
I just feel so sad about the whole thing. I used to be an alcoholic and funded myself to attend rehab last year which has truly been life changing. Since then I have been taking care of myself, my family, secured a well paid job I enjoy and my future felt positive. I have been making amends for my previous bad behaviour to those I love and care about. I was excited about all the possibilities in my sober life. Now it has, in a matter of a few weeks, been completely changed and become uncertainty and worry and full of doctor and hospital trips. All the healthy ambitions I had for myself, training for a marathon, which were to me milestones in my recovery all seem to have disappeared in the blink of an eye.
I am naturally worried about what the treatment will involve and how it will affect me and my family. But, rather selfishly, I just feel really sad that all of the progress and the bright future I have worked so hard for suddenly feels over after such a short time. And I feel so so sad that my children will, once again, be worried and anxious because of me.
Has anyone else had similar experiences?
Hi
i am sorry you’ve had this diagnosis. It’s a rollercoaster and from my short experience of it, no two days are the same emotionally. i was diagnosed on Jan 26th and have a lumpectomy on Monday. I have gone from wanting to write letters to my young children, to planning holidays and physical challenges.
What I’ve found is that every feeling is ok. Sometimes you’ll feel invincible and sometimes you’ll feel broken. But keep putting one foot in front of the other and trust in the care you’re receiving.
I commend you for your recovery from alcohol- that takes huge strength and grit- you should be so proud of yourself.
Wishing you the very best on this journey xx
Hi Eebee , lovely message from Crwban already, just wanted to add my support. All your hard work to get sober will pay off as you are in a much better place now to deal with the cancer. It must of course feel like the proverbial kick in the teeth, but it would have happened regardless and hopefully you can draw some strength from what you’ve already achieved. And people in this undesirable cancer club do still achieve great things, running marathons and fulfilling other ambitions. As you will too. I haven’t had particularly similar experiences apart from the sh** show of cancer, but wanted to send you love and a big virtual hug. Others will pop in I’m sure, this is a great place for support and shared experiences. HFxx
Crwban and HappyFeet1 thank you so much for your kind replies. Definitely more rational today and now feeling this is (hopefully and with every part of me crossed) just another bump in the road of life. I’ve been through some pretty horrid stuff in the past and made it to this point with a positive and hopeful outlook with love, help and support and I plan to keep it that way! All I can do at the moment is pray that the cancer has not spread, focus on whatever treatment is planned and look after myself best I can. I’m only 46 and will do absolutely anything to try and have the happy and healthy future we all deserve.
Thank you again, with love and virtual hugs. x
The most important thing is know you're not alone. Everyone will recognise the effort you made facing your demons and their support will be all the stronger hopefully. It can feel isolating having this diagnosis and it is normal to have rollercoaster emotions. Be kind to yourself! I am in recovery from a lumpectomy and radiotherapy but had to wind up my business as a dog walker and boarder which broke my heart but everyone has been so supportive and kind. I've never been one who is good at asking for help but I've discovered that when your back is against the wall it is surprising how many people want to help. Stay strong xxx
I was diagnosed on 1st Oct luckily stage 1 and had lumpectomy, radiotherapy and tabs now for 5 years. Don’t give up on your dreams. I had no signs just results from standard mammogram. Radiotherapy finished on 17th Dec and I started back to work pt last week and went back to my 3 usual exercise classes but not ready to return to running yet. You’ve done so well so far and it’s not your fault. Don’t let cancer change you that’s my motto!
You’ve come so far don’t give up on your dreams or let cancer define you. I had lumpectomy in Oct and radiotherapy finished 17th Dec but I went back to work pt last week and to my 3 usual exercise classes after 3 months off! It’s not your fault just circumstance - I can’t change being a woman or over 50!
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