Hair loss and anxiety

I just tell people mine is a wig and everyone compliments it. It's nothing like my own hair was, so I prefer to be open about it. I feel it's easier to deal with that way. I'm 52, my hair was shoulder length but I'll not go back to it being like that. I know it's difficult, but I suspect most people don't actually look that closely. 

Hi EllenP76, I too lost most of my hair after my 2nd EC. I have 2 wigs both the same. To start with I felt very conscious that people could see they were wigs. That has all stopped now, I have many a person ask where I had my highlights done as they thought they were great and wanted to know the hairdresser. When I tell them it’s a wig they never believe me. I think as we know it does make us feel conscious but other people have no idea. Even friends have commented on how they would never know and I know my friends would never say that unless it was true. I still have the odd day where I think people can tell but then I brush it off and look to see if I can tell if they are wearing a wig!

Wishing you all the best

Hugs from cuffcake x x x x x

i had an issue too, first I went out somewhere I wouldnt  know anyone, and a woman complimented my hair in a shop, and I said thank you, you can buy it if you want, its not mine, and she was a little shocked but laughed.

im still a bit self conscious but i have two with different cuts so am sure everyone knows, at a local the waitress complimented one wig. hugs

losing hair is a hard part of this, dont lock yourself away tho

Hi Ellen

I lost my hair, eyebrows and lashes and didn't bother with a wig or headscarf as it was high summer and too hot!  I chose comfort and wore cotton sun hats outdoors and braved the stares when out having lunch, shopping etc.  it took guts at first but at least I never had to explain myself, I decided that people were looking at me with sympathy/empathy and just to let them look.

Once I made the decision I felt better at "owning it" and not trying to hide from the reality of what is happening.  I am now 6 months post chemo and have hair like a skin head but very thin on top, it is coming back slowly.  I can get my eyebrows microbladed now that I am 6 months out, and some eyeliner tattoos to make up for sparse lashes.

Everyone is different, I live in a rural place and only go to local shops and events, I have been off work so it has been easier for me than for some.

Have you tried the Look Good Feel Better virtual workshop tutorials, I found them very helpful and encouraging.  It might give you a lift of spirits, have a look at the website and sign up.

There is no right or wrong answer unfortunately but remember that your feelings are normal and valid, think about the best way forward for you yourself and not what anyone else did/does or expects.

Hope you feel better about it soon, I just focus on who I am at the moment, not who I was or will be.

Hugs

BexF

Hi ELLEN

 lost my hair after 2 EC I couldn’t wear the wig , I wore bandannas and now wearing bobbly hats .  I wasn’t to bothered l took it has part of the treatment. I had to go out because l live on my own with no children and l needed to take my dog out for walks.  So the first day I went out with the bandanna yes l was uncomfortable but I soon got used to it. l finished chemotherapy the end of October l now got a covering of hair so now I go out with nothing on my head.  People don’t notice I think we are more conscious about it. You will soon get used to it.  

I was recommended a Look Good Feel Better workshop and was lucky enough to do a physical one. I can recommend them. I had my eyebrows done in advance of treatment but didn't have the eyeliner as I was a bit scared, but I might when I can if they are not quick to grow back.

Thanks for sharing your experience of hair regrowth. I think mine will be similar so I will be wearing hats this summer. 

I only have small head so might have to find teenage hats. 

Best wishes 

Jo

Hi EllenP76 

I am so sorry to hear you feel like this.  I didn't need chemo. but a former colleague of mine had HER2 BC at around the same time.  We met for a coffee and were chatting and I asked her how she had managed to keep her hair.  It was a wig - it was so good, that even sat that close I couldn't tell - and I knew she was going through chemo.

Also, pre me having cancer, if I saw someone who'd undergone hair loss, the only thing I would have felt would have been devastation on behalf for the person as I would have figured they were going through cancer or had alopecia and just felt for them and hoped they were ok. (I would still feel like this, having gone through BC, but I don't worry so much for their outcome as I hadn't realised before I had it, how survivable it is these days )

I really don't believe anyone would feel anything other than this - and certainly wouldn't look at a wig and think it was bad - they are amazingly good!

I do hope you can find the confidence to go out as you are going through enough without locking yourself away.

Kindest wishes,

Lesley