Mentally challenging

Hi Pippa dog, sorry you are finding things mentally challenging. Unfortunately I think it is part of the course and some manage to cope easier than others. Chemo is brutal for some but is doable and hopefully talking to your chemo nurses that can help with meds to combat side effects which can also get one down. Do you have help with the children ? Is there someone that can look after them whilst you can rest for a bit? My husband took over a lot of things whilst I was going through chemo. The one thing that spurred me on was wanting to enjoy spending time with my family and also wanted to get back to work as I have great work colleagues. It did get me down and times and I wanted to stop but then I had good days and it perked me back up.
Bupa through MacMillan offer some counselling 

https://www.macmillan.org.uk/cancer-information-and-support/get-help/emotional-help/bupa-counselling-and-emotional-well-being-support

this might be something that would help you. 
We spoke to our kids from the start so they were fully aware of what was happening and going to happen. This helped them cope and they helped out a lot. They were 12 and 15 when I started my journey. I don’t have any experience about how younger children have coped but I’m sure there will be others that can offer advice how they coped with their younger ones. I know there are people out there who have to cope all on their own or with kids and no support. I admire them as they find the strength to get through it all. Take some time in the evenings when they are in bed and relax do things you enjoy. I found jigsaw puzzles and watching some tv helped. I just blocked out everything else and focused on me. Easier said than done I know. Taking with your nurses when you have chemo is good too. They understand and can also help guide you to where to get help. 
Wishing you all the best

Hugs from cuffcake x x x x x

Good morning my love, massive hugs to you. 
Please don’t ever feel alone this is a great group with so much love and support.

the emotion that you are going through is completely normal everyone of us has gone through it.  Try to get through this day by day Hopefully your chemo will ease after each session and don’t be so hard on yourself.  I found that talking to other cancer sufferers about it helped a lot they have been through it and understand.

I also found gentle excercises helped and if you can short walks helped my head. 
It is also worth while speaking to your breast care nurses to see if there are any local courses for people going through cancer they are very helpful as you are with the same minded people that are so understanding in fact my cancer was diagnosed in July 2022 and the group I was with still meet up now for a chat.

you will start to take this in your stride but not overnight try turning your negatives into positives, we do all get through this and come out the other side.

i de feel for you I know those dark days so well.

Love and massive hugs to you

Hi,

so much of what you have written resonates with me too. I’ve just joined this group…had surgery 12 days ago…quite sore from the lymph clearance. Have four kids (grown up but all reacting differently too) and facing chemo in a few weeks. I’ve felt like I’ve coped and kept everyone buoyant and telling everyone’I’m fine! But actually inside wondering how the hell you cope with all of this. The thing I find most difficult is feeling unwell…which I have been. I would love to be me again instead of feeling defined by my diagnosis at present  

So I guess what I’m saying is I do totally get it and my heart goes out to you. There are no easy answers, it is really, really tough. Reaching out for support can help you sometimes just put things in order in your mind. My friend called last night ….she was just on her way out and has thought of me…that made me feeling both happy and sad. She said how are you feeling today? I said I just feel so angry with it all and maybe that’s another emotion we feel. 

I hope you have good support around you and practical help where needed but this group, nurses and other organisations are out there too. I think we have to find what can work for us on an almost daily basis but it is hard. It sounds a bit corny but sometimes one day at a time can help when it feels so overwhelming. 

take good care of yourself xxx

Hi Pippa Dog

i was mentally good but then again I live on my own and had a good friend for support unlike you it must be harder juggling 4 children. Chemotherapy is hard I had 12 and 15 radiotherapy, I brainwashed myself it was a new job and went to every treatment treatIng it like a job when it finished I was glad to be made redundant from that job it soon goes. Don't look at the long picture just take it a week at a time. Also I know it’s hard for you but if you do feel tied just try to have a sit down and put your feet up and have a rest it does help.

I did walk everyday it made me feel better mentally and physically and it gave me strength for every step of my treatment l had, also I downloaded a calm app and done some breathing exercises . Honestly hang in there be strong I remember when I was diagnosed they told me I had nine months treatment and it would be over by Christmas back in January 2023 I thought, nearly a year of treatment I will never do it, but do you know what I was that busy with appointments it soon went.  I look back today and it seems a lifetime ago I forgotten all about it .it was a rockey road ups and downs but I done it and like everybody on here we are proud we done this.  You will get there keep plodding on . Take care now and look forward to the spring and summer it will soon be here xxx

Hi there, I know exactly the rage you are feeling, the "I don't want to do this anymore" feeling.  I found that regular counseling phone calls really helped me.  I used the Bupa service via the website here, once those sessions ended and I was struggling the cancer nurses told me of another local service which I then used and I have the service offered by my employer in my back pocket should I have a downward spiral.  I do take Sertraline for anxiety and depression anyway (longstanding condition). Plus I have a small amount of diazepam available for high stress situations (hospital visits for results/operation for eg).

I use Headspace and Calm apps, mindfulness practices and I angrily write my rage into a journal when I need to get things off my chest!

The local St David's Hospice drop in centre has been wonderful, they are offering services to persons with a life altering condition these days, not just terminally I'll persons.  I attend a small support group where we have coffee and chat, then a bit of gentle physio, then more coffee and chat.  There is an alternative therapist who provides reflexology, crystal healing or massage sessions without charge, plus access to counseling and welfare rights etc.

They encouraged me to apply for PIP (personal independence payment) and a Blue badge for parking, both of which have made life so much easier.  Maybe have a look what is available in your area?  Maybe a St David's or a Maggie Center.

Difficult with the kids as mine are grown.  Maybe have a word with individual teachers to let them know what is going on and ask them to be mindful in supporting your child?  Schools may have access for counseling or support groups etc for the children?  Just so the kids don't get negative pressure from school whilst they are distracted and maybe more emotional than normal?

Mainly just remember that you have every right to be peed off and angry, this disease is not fair and the treatment is brutal and saps all your resources - yet we get through it all as we are stronger than we think.  Let the past go, you will never return to "how you used to be" as this experience changes everyone both physically and emotionally, you are working towards being the new you, a survivor.

If there is anything I can do please reach out, BexF