Telling your kids

Hi Shey

Welcome to the forum and sorry to hear that you have been diagnosed with  breast cancer.  There's is a booklet on the website about how to talk about which you can either order from Macmillan or read online.  It has a section on talking to children about a cancer diagnosis..  Here's the link: Talking about cancer booklet | Macmillan Cancer Support. Hopefully you will find it helpful.

Wishing you the best of luck with your treatment.

Best wishes

Daisy53

Hi, sorry to hear you have been diagnosed with breast cancer. There is no easy way to tell the kids. I'm not going to lie,  I found it incredibly difficult. My breast care nurse gave me a book called " mummy found a lump" depending on the age of your children this explains things very well. All I would say is be honest, try and keep it simple and reassure them with all the wonderful success stories out there. 

I have a grown up son and then my other 2 are in primary school. They've seen me post masectomy, watched my hair fall out and struggle with the side effects of chemo. They have been amazing, my reason to stay positive and fight this. 

Sending you a hug and lots of luck with your treatment x

Hi Shey, sorry to hear of your diagnosis. Our kids were 12 and 15 at the time I was diagnosed. We didn’t faff around just told them straight up right from the initial start when I was recalled for a second mammogram, biopsy and ultrasound. As I had appointments we kept them informed at each stage. They have now seen me go through 2 ops, chemo, radiotherapy and now on targeted treatment and tamoxifen. They saw me loose my hair over the time, helped me with getting a wig and looking after me when I had not so good days through chemo. Our eldest was also going through revision for GCSEs and also his younger brother was recovering from being knocked over so they both contented with a lot but managed to handle it so well. I think if we had hidden it more from them it could have been far more difficult. 
You could talk to Macmillan I’m sure the nurses would be able to advise or refer a book on helping how to tell children as it depends on how old they are. Tbh I think even if ours had been younger we would have still been fairly to the point. Everyone is different on how to tell their children. Only you know your children but with everyone’s help or advice there will be a way that you feel is the best way for you. 
Wishing you all the best.

Hugs from cuffcake x x x x x

Hi, sorry to hear you’ve joined our club. It really depends on their ages. When I had breast cancer the first time my daughter was 4, I had a lumpectomy and RT so I just told her I had ‘a naughty lump’ that needed to be taken out. She accepted that and was fine. This time she was 12 and my marriage hadn’t long broken down. Other than how aggressive the cancer was, I told her the truth just very factually and told her what my treatment was and that I was expected to be fine but it was going to be tough. There was no hiding chemo and a mastectomy! I said to her I would not lie to her and she mustn’t worry. I was so pleased I did this because some adults, very well meaning I know, say things they think are coded, (you’re strong enough to beat this and other nonsense) and that all signals to them what is going on. They also are always listening and she overheard convos sometimes but believing she knew the truth no matter what was a comfort to her. She coped very well. It wasn’t easy her seeing me go through it but she coped and we’re stronger for it. If you can and they are old enough a counsellor is also a good idea, mine really leaned on that. Macmillan may help there but I just paid privately. Good luck x

Thank you so much achy for sharing. Your words give me comfort, truly. My boys are about grown & have always been attentive..thank you for reminding me of that. Sending hugs to you.

Thank you Anna12345! Those are great suggestions. I truly appreciate you taking the time to share. Good luck with your recovery, and thanks for the welcome to this Warrior’s Club 

Thank you Cuffcake…you are so sweet. I am sorry to hear that your kids went through such a hard struggle themselves. I hope they have both recovered well. I appreciate your honesty, as well as your time & care. I wish you so much joy & health my fellow Warrior