The waiting is killing me

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Hi Wave 

I had breast cancer 3 years ago in the height of the pandemic.  It was a very lonely and surreal time. With my elderly dad and 18 year old daughter living with me I really didn't process it properly. 

Last November I went back to the breast centre complaining of an achy, lumpy breast (the same one). They were literally about to take a biopsy but stopped it reassuring me that it was aggravated scar tissue and that things I consume maybe effecting it , like coffee and chocolate.  I cut right back but it continued to throb/burn/ache. I have been investigated due to fluctuating temperatures,  feeling generally rubbish, sweats (smell like vinegar), body pain, recent headaches, high wbc and very low platelets. I have been in hospital with suspected infection...no joy. Now I have urgent referral haematology for suspected cancer. I've booked another check up at the breast centre as my breast has got bigger, changed look and texture. Long story short, no amount of googling helps. Waiting is a very lonely place as no one understands unless they've been through it....

Obviously I hope I don't have any sort of cancer but it really doesn't look good. I've been harping on about my symptoms for months now and always feel brushed off. Sadly, as I've experienced for myself, the NHS are in crisis mode and it's not looking like things are going to chance anytime soon.

So thank god for support like this eh Pray

Best wishes to you all my fellow warriors

  • Hi Fifikerry, you are so right about everything you said! I myself keep googling things like crazy which rarely helps. Each breast cancer case is different and we really don't have to do this to ourselves - getting scared as hell and losing hope. Like so many amazing ladies here have said that before, we are warriors (not that I feel like one right now!). I am waiting for my whole body scan on 04/07 when I'll hopefully know if my cancer has spread. My lymph nodes appeared to be clear on US, but I don't feel reassured at all! The wait is so brutal! I'm trying to read, watch my favourite comedies, etc which takes the edge off for a while but then the thing hits me again! I keep repeating to myself that this too shall pass and I do hope it really will. Big hug, stay in touch if it helps! xx