Post mastectomy (left breast) mental recovery

Hi Betka, sorry to hear of your diagnosis and that you are struggling mentally. I’m sorry but I can’t help about a mastectomy issue as I didn’t have to have that but I understand that one can have a nipple tattoo or buy some stick on nipples and these have helped people who also didn’t have their nipple saved. Hopefully someone will be along soon to help and advise how they felt after a mastectomy. It’s great you have reached out here for support and advice. The Macmillan nurses are also a great at offering advice and support too. You can contact them via phone or on the online chat. 
Wishing you all the best for your journey.

Hugs from cuffcake x x x x x

Hi Bekta

I had a bilateral therapeutic mammoplastomy in November, and  understand how you feel. My nipples were saved but taken off and stitched back on, my boobs are a completely different shape- kind of square, small  and flat as they had to remove a big tumour,  there are big scars. It’s taken me until a few weeks ago to look at myself, I know I’m lucky to have some of my old breasts - I had big boobs and after years of insecurity I’d finally started to love myself, met a new partner and wham cancer! 

The past few weeks I’ve looked at myself, started massaging my scars and I think that’s helped. Kind of acknowledging this is the new me, often crying to be honest. I’m having counselling too - that may help - but then feel guilty because I’m in a much more fortunate position than most. It’s doing what’s right for you, I’ve allowed myself to grieve, but mentally it’s been so tough. 

There are things you can do later on that can help, it’s a long road and so important to be gentle on yourself you’ve had such a trauma, it’s life changing and huge xxx sending lots of love ️ 

Thank you cuffcake x kind of you to reply. I'm looking around for all that's available for me now. As these past few weeks I was focusing on recovering physically but now it's time for the other side of it to be focused on x

Hello, thank you so much for your message.  I know either way having some of your own tissue left or not this is a big journey for all of us. 

I'm just struggling with the idea of a new me. I know I need to give it more time.  But at the same time I don't want to ignore the way I'm feeling as long term it can do more damage I think. 

Thank you. Xxx

Hi Betka

I had mastectomy and immediate reconstruction with implant 11 weeks ago. 

I know how u feel as my nipple could not be saved. I am now getting used to my new breast. Its not particularly pretty but in a bra or clothes looks ok. It has impacted my self confidence and I have not returned to work yet. 

I suppose I just feel that with DCIS and invasive BC it had to be done. Much as I wish it didnt.

I still struggle some days but am starting to feel better about it all. I tell myself it saved my life and I am soo grateful I do not need chemo. The last two weeks I have started walking everyday and I feel this helps. 

I choose an implant as I did not want to be struggling with wounds on other areas too. 

I did not know that you can get stick on nipples but will definately be looking into this. 

I hope with time you start to feel a bit better. At 4 weeks its still very early days. 

Best wishes x

Hi, I’ve had a double mastectomy, but chose not to have a reconstruction, so I can’t comment on the latter. However, I get the not wanting to look at yourself bit. For me, I  took a very huge deep breath, and one day did it, with the district nurses there (who were changing my drain). When they saw it they were really encouraging and told me that it’s really neat, the surgeon has done a very good job. I admit that it wasn’t as bad as I feared, but at the same time I wasn’t very confident about things.
The reason why I have responded is because overtime it changes, but this does take a while. The BCN told me that it would do this, but I didn’t really know what she meant. Roll on 20 months later … they were all right. The skin is is much softer, and the mastectomy scar is virtually invisible. I didn’t use any oil. So what you see in the mirror now, is likely not how things will be in the future, once the breast/chest wall settles. The procedure interferes with muscles and nerves and I think that this is underestimated at the beginning. Well certainly I did. It is major surgery, and the end product is very visible. I do feel more confident now … and have embraced it. But I wasn’t like that at the beginning. Xx 

Thank you for getting in touch. 

I opted for an implant as I wanted a fast recovery and having the least scars on my body possible. 

Of course I'm grateful and having a little child I'm thankful I trusted my guts on having that lump checked out that I thought for a year was something to do with leftover milk production after breastfeeding. 

I'm suppose to return to work in a couple of weeks and I really don't know if I am at the right state of mind. Can I ask you if it was purely your choice to delay your return or did your doctor reccomended it? 

Thank you so much 

Xxx

Thank you for sharing your journey and for the encouraging words  I do Need to give it time I suppose. Xx

Hi Betka. 

I spoke with my BC nurse who advised it could take 3 months plus to feel recovered. I then spoke with my gp and told him how I was feeling and asked for an extended sickline. He was very understanding.

It took 9 weeks for my incision to completely heal but longer to get used to the tightness, the sensation and the feeling of the implant.

From routine mammogram to mastectomy reconstruction and lymph removal it was 5 weeks. All happened so quickly I didnt really have time to digest the whole situation until now.

Be gentle on yourself and take the time to fully recover both physically and emotionally. 

You have had a cancer diagnosis, major surgery and a massive change to your body. All have taken their toll.

All the very best for the future x

I have gone through something similar. I had a skin-saving mastectomy (L) including removal  of nipple, with immediate implant reconstruction in July 2021. I also had a lumpectomy on the right side. I had dressing on both sides - the one on the right side was removed first. It was a bit odd - the nipple was preserved, but I'd had what I think my consultant called a 'nipple tuck', ie to try to even out where the pre-cancerous DCIS was removed. It was on the under side of my breast. The dressing on the left side wasn't removed for two or three weeks, and I then had a smaller dressing on for a week or so. That meant I could avoid looking at it for several weeks - and I did! 

I got to the point where I could look down at it, and where I could touch it (I was moisturising madly in preparation for radiotherapy), but I couldn't look at it in the mirror. The first time I glimpsed the scar was when I had my CT scan for planning the radiotherapy. It was a reflection in the scanner. My tummy lurched. But it was perhaps a good thing - it wasn't that bad (I don't know what I'd been expecting). I have been moisturising to a greater or lesser extent ever since - the shape of the implanted breast has changed. The scar seems to have moved. The shape of it isn't too bad now - I'm considering a nipple tattoo as there is an 'obvious' place for it. I'm conscious that my right breast is a less-defined shape than it used to be. The scar is healing nicely. I have some fat necrosis.  

I did eventually bring myself to look at myself in the mirror - but it took three or four months. I'm gradually getting better at it. It's important so that you can continue to examine yourself. But don't force yourself. Do it in your own time. On your own, or with a healthcare professional or trusted friend there to support you if you think that would help.

I've cried over it. I've felt grateful that the NHS BSP found it when it was at an early stage so the prognosis is as good as it ever can be, I think. 

I used to enjoy a bath at the end of the week. I haven't had one since surgery. I am - nervous, afraid, just plain 'down' - about the prospect of lying in the bath. I now sleep - even in the summer - with a t-shirt as I don't want to sleep without. That started as a 'protection' thing after the dressing was removed, but seems to be something deeper now. I can't rationalise these feelings. I think at some point I'll probably seek some counselling (I'm using Maggie's which is a great support). I have decided not to worry too much about it, but also know I don't want to just ignore it. I'm considering a nipple tattoo. 

I'm due to go back for my annual check-up soon and have a few things I want to discuss. 

I have some good friends who would listen - including my best friend who just said 'you can say anything to me'. And I have! My partner has been great. His sister is also someone I can talk to as their mum went through a similar thing and I think she and her mum talked a lot. 

Maggie's (or something similar) helped me - there are people there who can help, who will listen, and people who are on a similar journey and just get it. There are also classes - eg tai chi, relaxation, gentle exercise, 'look good, feel better', Where Now? - which might help when you're ready.

I think we all have to find our own way of dealing with this - but reaching out to others and trying different things might be a place to start.

Take your time and use this forum!

All the best,

Diane.