Post breast cancer & menopuase

Hi NoworNever, and a very warm welcome to the forum. Not a place any of us would have wanted to join but a great source of support and shared experiences. I think my cancer was similar to yours but I was older and definitely post menopausal. You can read about individual stories by clicking on our user names, for those who have chosen to fill in a profile.
But lots of your descriptions of symptoms and how you feel strike a chord with me, as I’m sure they will with many folk here. You don’t (I think) mention whether you’re on hormone zappers but if you are, they can definitely also play havoc with your emotions and I’m guessing anyone who’s been on HRT must feel it with bells on. You’ve mentioned many of the symptom relievers that I would have suggested, maybe all of them. But others will no doubt pop in with other ideas. I mainly wanted to welcome you and assure you that you’re not alone. 
Re feeling that you’re letting your wife down by not being more robust… I’d just continue to support each other and accept that it’s not your fault that you’re affected in this way. It doesn’t sound like she blames you, cancer is a sh** card to be dealt but good to acknowledge that it impacts partners too. 
Good on you for starting the menopause support group at work, I think at last there’s beginning to be an acknowledgment of how much it affects many of us. 

There’s an article that I return to from time to time which I find helpful - I’ll add the link. It seems to sum up well the mixed emotions at the end of ‘active’ treatment (I regard myself as still being treated as I’m popping Anastrozole to hopefully help to prevent recurrence). 

www.workingwithcancer.co.uk/.../After-the-treatment-finishes-then-what.pdf

Sorry for this long winded welcome! Sending love and a big virtual hug your way, HFxx 

Welcome. Most of my story is in my profile if you click my name.

I've found that Dr Louise Newson is very good and I've read her book and there are lots of resources on her website here

https://www.newsonhealth.co.uk/resources/#factsheets

I'm still struggling with sleep or lack of and yes still emotional and have wobble days. I've not really had any support to cope with things so just plodding on myself but can empathise with you. Agree that there isn't much help and yes they all ramble on about HRT but not everyone can take it x

I've just read your story and can see you have been struggling. Hopefully if you can sleep it can help with dealing with all the other symptoms including those bought on by Tamoxifen.

Acupuncture seems to be an effective route to go down and I think I might go for a top up 

Thank you for the link and I agree the resources are good on the site. 

Hope things keep improving for you a day at a time.

Take care

Thank you for such a warm welcome.

It does help to know we're not alone.

I remember reading that article which really helped me and urged me to search out more resources and I bought this book which totally changed my attitude to life after cancer. 

I'm super lucky as my wife is amazing and let's me cry whenever I need to and hopefully things will keep on improving.

Thank you again. 

I'm not in the same situation as you, but a similar one - sudden medical menopause with the BC treatment so an intense menopause and trying to cope with ongoing symptoms. I have to say, things have significantly calmed down for me and did within the first 6 months or so.

I just wanted to sympathise because there isn't much support for people who cannot take HRT, and actually I get a little frustrated that HRT is being pushed so much again, as if going through a natural menopause is somehow a disease.

I think there should be more education on how to cope, what steps can be taken at work etc rather than HRT being the only answer. If you take HRT, you're not really going through the menopause, you're replacing hormones that you are losing. At some point, won't you need to come off HRT and then experience all those symptoms anyway?

I have no issues at all with people making choices about what works best for them, but I really wish the media would stop talking about menopause as if it's something to be afraid of and that you are somehow less when you go through it and need artificial help to make you a useful person again.

This may or may not be helpful, but I have a book on menopause and it seems to suggest that whether you go through a medical or natural menopause, the worse symptoms tend to last about 2 years and then everything settles well after that - particularly hot flushes that tend to last the longest in terms of symptoms. Whereas people using HRT can experience fluctuations for years and then of course have to come off it, so you may find that things settle for you and you can cope better in time.

I do feel that I'll continue to have symptoms as long as I'm taking the aromatase inhibiter, but I am about 20 months into a medically-induced menopause with zoladex and other than the hot flushes, everything is fine.

I have been trying acupuncture and that helped to decrease anxiety - though I don't know whether the anxiety was from menopause or chemo / breast cancer diagnosis!

Yes I had exactly the same symptoms and found my mood to be very low, after having HRT for 4 years and suddenly having no hormones I went to my doctor and she prescribed me Sertraline. I have never taken anti depressants and felt that if i did it was a sign of defeat but it was definitely the right decision during this horrific journey , my cancer was stage 2 and I am at present having chemo. It has made a big difference to me I am on the lowest dose and would definitely recommend them.

I did have an extremely stressful job, but never wanted to take anti- depressants. I am hoping it will get me through this tough time and hopefully I will be able to come off them x

Thanks so much for sharing. You really feel for you having to come off HRT whilst during treatment and during one of the most worrying times of your life. You've already got so much to deal with and when that HRT is taken away you just forget how much you relied on it. I had to come off my HRT between my 2 procedures and it wasn't the most comfortable feeling. 

Sounds like you did the right thing seeing the doctor and getting some support.

I know I don't feel right and I'm having another teary day with lots flying around my head and my heart. I'm missing myself and maybe speaking to the Doctor about the emotional impact of might be a good idea as I've trying so many different things to stabilise myself. 

Thank you and I do hope your treatment continues well and please do let me know how you get on.

Many blessings to you. 

So pleased things have calmed down for you. I agree it takes time for things to settle.

Not everyone is affected by menopausal symptoms but when they arrive they can send you off kilter for a while.

It'll be great if they don't last longer than 2 years however I feel potentially waiting to feel better emotionally might not work for me at the moment. It does make me feel there is light at the end of the tunnel though.

Acupuncture is wonderful and addresses all those blockages and imbalances. 

It's good to hear a positive story and I hope you stay well and thank you so much for sharing.