Just joined - Anyone else feeling like this?

Davcarmel bthinkingon

Can relate. I just wana shout at them...I don't feel brave so stop labelling me that!!

I know everyone is trying to console us and can be so difficult with their choice of words. My colleague said to me...oh take your time out as a holiday, and I just wanted to shake her and scream "this certainly isn't A Holiday!!!!" I only try to forgive and forget only thinking how ignorant some people can be.

Then I also have some cousin brothers who cannot even say "get well soon" after my op which is mastectomy and just remained silent. 

So u get all sorts of people! Don't let them get to u as we already have enough on our plates right now. Maybe having BC has made us really wiser to what this journey entails.

DAV - do you know your treatment just yet? I am also having treatment in the new year, may be we could be chemo-mates!!

C x

CS82 gosh, this is mad, our stories are so similar! I hope that knowing you're not alone in how you feel offers some solace. X

It’s funny. Feels like there’s some kind of cancer hierarchy. When I got good results I felt guilty coming back on here because others have much longer roads.  

Then I was just talking to a neighbour who was genuinely concerned but when she talked about chemo I felt guilty with my worries. Then again, hers was six years ago and I’m still processing mine.

to be clear she didn’t do that to me - I did it to myself!!  Feels like being kind to yourself is the key. 

So it is all something different for everyone. 
and we all have different feelings about our bodies and what changes to our bodies mean. 

and we all start this journey for a different place - I think if this had happened to me in a different year, I’d have had a completely different experience - so there’s no right way  

feeling guilty is not helpful to any of us. You have a right to feel your feelings. I think being delighted when you still have treatment ahead is a lot to ask if you. I don’t feel delighted and I am just on yearly mammograms now. I just feel like “hold on, I hadn’t even got my head around having cancer and I’m still sore”

take your time and be outside and quiet when you can xx

I wonder who creates the ‘cancer hierarchy’ though because I’ve been told, same as I’m sure many people have been, how lucky I am it’s breast cancer not say bowel cancer. Always flummoxed me. People do die of breast cancer you know, why should I feel lucky? ( please don’t answer saying it gets more funding and is more treatable generally I know that) But I have a friend who also has breast cancer, different to mine, she got very tearful with me during chemo and said she felt awful because I was brave dealing with my ‘worse’ situation. I said to her Jesus were on the same chemo mate!! Regardless of our grades/stages/differences chemo/lumpectomies/mastectomies are great levellers, so much of our treatments are down to luck, who tolerated the drugs better, who’s lower grade cancer was further spread, etc.  I don’t think we can help it though, we diminish our own experiences by comparing ourselves to others, I guess it’s just human nature x