Diagnosis today, advice please

Thank you Katherine.h.p, I am struggling this evening as you can probably tell! 

If it’s everywhere and they give me weeks to live, I need to make arrangements now, for my son. That’s what’s going on in my head, I need to be ready and prepared for the worst. 

I recognise i need to learn to calm myself down. I’ve tried reading, I just start to think and my glazed eyes move across the page. Same with tv, watched two programmes this evening and I couldn’t tell you what happened.

The first part of this "journey" is the most terrifying.  I think those thoughts you mentioned go through everyone's minds before they get their full diagnosis / biopsy results  & treatment plans and it's always worst at night - I didn't want to upset people I loved with my darker thoughts and often found myself crying in bed. However it helped that I trusted my medical team. Trust those nurses who reassured you, they've had years of experience! You can always phone the Macmillan nurses (24hrs a day) to talk things through. And one statistic that helped me in the early days (it's on this website) was

"Survival rates for breast
cancer are generally high
due to early diagnosis and
treatment – around 96% of
women in England survive
their cancer at least one
year after diagnosis."

I had to give myself pep talks and reassure myself that it was so unlikely I would be in the last 4%. 

If you read the threads and other people's experiences, you'll realise that you are not alone and there are tons of us who want to reach out and support you.  Sending you positive thoughts and a virtual hug x

Thank you for replying. I was doing so well today, felt I’d got my head around it all but this evening has been tough. I do need to trust my team, I just read about the MRI earlier and thought I’d not had one so how can my BCN tell me I’m going to be okay so confidently? 

I’ll take all the positive thoughts and hugs I can get!  Thank you, you are helping me get a grip of my thoughts, sending you a virtual thank you hug back x

Good morning, just wanted to check in and see how you are, and if you got some sleep.  I know it's hard to believe, but there will be a point when the true reality clicks in and you do stop worrying so much about the “what if”

Trusting your medical team is a big deal. I just decided they are the experts and a I am not and I asked s lot of questions but had to trust them.   Hope you have a better day x

Hi bring me sunshine, I’m so sorry you are here. This part, waiting for the results and treatment plan and dates is the most frightening I think as sometimes you can’t help but think the worst even though they tell you it’s treatable etc. But just try to hold on to the thought that they do know so much these days. I think it’s worse at night as I didn’t want to upset everyone with my dark thoughts so did most of my crying then. I found the calm app listening to the stories and believe it or not the rain sound really soothing when I couldn’t sleep. I also sometimes use the distraction technique of trying to stop the thoughts by thinking of 5 things you can see, then 5 things you can smell and 5 things you can hear when I start to feel panicky about it all.  Sometimes it’s just helps to stop the thoughts - so that may help a little. I’ve never had to use techniques like this before so all a little new for me. However once you get the dates for treatment I promise it does start to get a little easier as you know you are stepping in the right direction. 

Ive havent had any mri as I was told if not in lymph nodes they dont need to do that so that may be why you haven’t had one as well if thats any help. Even though i think we probably would all like to have one to put our minds at rest. They do do a scan before radiotherapy starts though so that helps.

Keep doing lovely things now to help take mind off things. You are still you. Will be sending all positive thoughts and love you way  xx

Morning, thank you for checking in. Gosh, last night was a proper wobble, I ended up going to sleep just past midnight but woke up in sweats during the night thinking this has been a nightmare. I only woke up a few times, but went back to sleep quickly - a huge improvement on the night before. 

I think sharing and discussing the dark thoughts here did help me get a better nights sleep. 

The days are so much easier as I can find things to do, evenings are tougher. I’m telling my best friend today, I kept all this quiet as I thought I didn’t want to worry anyone about a cyst! I need to create my support circle, that will help I’m sure.

Thank you again for checking in, wishing you a lovely day x

Hi bringmesunshine. sorry to hear of your diagnosis and your wedding cancellation.   I’m in a similar situation as I too thought my lump was a cyst and so did my doctor.  I also wasn’t offered an MRI but I hope that might be because they don’t think it’s in my lymph nodes and was found early and I suspect that may be similar for you? 

I have found the waits agonising but my lovely doctor prescribed me a low dose of Citalopram (non addictive) which has helped me cope and stop shaking! At last it’s pre op tomorrow and lumpectomy with sentinel node removal on 24th then I expect another wait for results and see what’s next.  Been told might be radiotherapy or chemo and radiotherapy depending if it’s in lymph nodes which I understand from this forum still doesn’t mean it’s spread anywhere else so try to hang on to and believe what you were told and if you need anymore help I found Macmillan nurses helpful, good listeners and reassuring.

Lots of luck and big hug! x

I am sorry to hear about your diagnosis. You're probably still in shock. I too wasn't expecting mine, as I'd had issues twice before, with the same breast. I am a positive person and I believe I will be fine. The waiting is the issue for me. No surgery date yet, diagnosed on August 16th. Try to take each day as it comes, it's a bump in the road, of this wonderful life. Wishing you well and talk as much as possible..xx 

Oh thank you for taking the time to post your message, you’ve really put my mind as rest regarding the MRI. I do recall being told something about nothing in nodes so worst case likely to be microscopic, undetectable in MRI - hence the chemo to flush the microscopic cells out! It’s coming back to me now. I wish I was given a FAQ sheet or something to take away, filled in with everything they told me (and the answers to common questions). I really can’t remember much beyond, “unfortunately, it’s cancer.”

I will definitely try the techniques you’ve shared. Wow, I’m so glad I’ve been so open here, the advice, support and love I’ve felt these last few days has been incredible. I don’t know how I’d have got through the shock of it al without your kindness - thank you x

Do not be afraid to get on the phone and go through again what you were told - presumably by your Consultant or Breast Surgeon. This is what the Breast Cancer Nurses are there for. I received a mass of information all at once - I attended a very small Breast Clinic at first who refused to tell me anything. They even asked me what I thought was the problem, which I found really annoying. I have veered between being really annoyed, and being very calm and composed throughout all this, but I do like to know the truth. For me, it was left entirely to the Breast Surgeon to tell me all the detail, but I found it very technical and I couldn't distinguish at first what problems I had in one breast and what problems there were in the other one. I had several chats with several Breast Cancer Nurses. I found it difficult to make the required decisions, but you do need as much help as they can give you, and don't be afraid to ask for it. I was also given booklets which helped to some extent. Better though to talk face to face with the medical profession in charge of your case. At first you may be in shock and not take in what is said. At the Breast Clinic I went to all the Radiology Dr kept saying was "I know this is a lot to take in". To be honest I found that very unhelpful. They skirted around the subject and just mentionned "areas of concern" and "precancerous cells". I wanted to know what was wrong and what they could do about it - that did not come out until I saw the Breast Surgeon she referred me to. Her first words of introduction were "I'm the Surgeon who's going to do your Surgery". She was very direct, which I think was the right approach. No messing, and to be honest, you can't mess with cancer.