Coming to terms with diagnosis

Hi there, I'm a bit older than you but had the same diagnosis a few weeks ago now.  I had surgery 9 days ago.  All I can say is it does get easier to cope with.  Mine was picked up at screening and was such a shock.  The first few days were absolutely awful but you gradually come to terms with what's happening to you and find the strength to face treatment.   Sharing the news is part of that and allowing people to support you.  I was so frightened so I know how you're feeling!  I don't really think you need to force yourself to be brave or positive or anything - just roll with it  - and try not to look too far into the future.  I have changed my mind about things as I've learnt new stuff about breast cancer and treatments, so time spent worrying now can be entirely wasted!   I did quite a lot of reading when I felt strong enough and then asked for a further chat with the surgeon to answer some of my questions - this was really useful. 

I don't know if meditation is something you'd consider, but there are some on youtube, particularly on self-compassion, that I've found helpful.  

All good wishes x

Hi thestarbook

Welcome to the forum and sorry to hear that you have been diagnosed with breast cancer. Breast cancer is very treatable this days and your medical team will do everything in their power to make sure you get better.

I was diagnosed with triple negative breast cancer last September and after receiving chemo, having surgery and radiotherapy I am now in remission.

Wishing you the best of luck with your treatment.

Best wishes

Daisy53

Welcome. Click my name to read my story. I'm younger than you and no chemo needed but I understand completely as it is a lot to take it when first diagnosed. Its good you have a treatment plan in place. One thing a lot of us struggle with is the waiting game. Try and keep yourself busy, write any questions, fears, concerns etc down so they are out your head and you can worry less although I appreciate that maybe hard. We all react differently and you have to do what is best for you. Make use of breast nurse, macmillan phone line etc what ever you need. We are here too on community as we've all been where you are to some degree.

I have a Maggie’s Centre attached to The Christie where I am about to start my radiotherapy.  They seem very nice and also provide help. You will be surprised as to how you just go with the flow. I feel I have become a plodder - trying to work from home but not much, hospital visits, resting and naps (struggling to sleep) and just trying to get on with life. Its a journey I wouldn't have picked but I'm stuck on it and am just trying to get to the end. There are others on the same path as you or similar and can provide great support and info to help. I've found a lot of comfort from this. Don't get me wrong my partner and family are supportive but they haven't been through it.

Keep going ...one day at a time xx

I worried about the future too. I'm younger than you (mid-40s) and was worried I wouldn't be able to continue with the things that I love doing, which are very physical. I don't have a  physical job, but all my hobbies are physical in terms of cardio and strength.

I had chemo to shrink my lump first, then lumpectomy and then radiotherapy and am on hormone therapy for 5 years. For me, that has meant a sudden menopause so I've dealt with that too.

I would prepare yourself for  6-8 months of your life being all about chemo and treatment but then it really does get better. I finished chemo in Jan, operation in Feb and rads in April and I am back to my life with a vengeance, loving every minute and appreciating it even more.

I'm not the same as I was but I am even more determined. My arm is still a bit stiff from the operation, I get hot flushes multiple times a day and they keep me awake at night, I have sore hands and feet, I seem to be more prone to injury now too but I am getting on with life again, glad to be out the other side and living life to the full. Activity makes me happy and I am able to do everything again.

You will get through this and out the other side, better for it. There's nothing like the sharp shock of a cancer diagnosis to reassess and prioritise your life. Do more of the things you love, worry less about the things that don't matter.

You can do this!