So scared and overwhelmed! Help…

Hello Rubydoo

I'm sorry you are having to go through this , it's a deeply anxious time try are keep in mind that treatments for breast cancer are very effective now . As your diagnosis is very recent it will take some time to feel more positive about your health. I haven't started chemo yet just had the surgery. You can let me know how it goes . Try and remember that Chemotherapy is your friend it's going to rid you of this disease . Surgery will stop it coming back. Surgery is ok not as bad as all the anxiety you are feeling now , I found the waiting is the worst part.  Hopefully you will be all back to normal soon . X

Take care 

Jayne 

The waiting is the absolute worst part. I am a similar age to you and also had MRI scan and heart scan (though no bone scan). Once you have your final treatment plan, you will feel a lot better. I also had chemo before surgery and it was a real boost getting the MRI scans during treatment to see that it had shrunk and the chemo was working. 

Waiting for the results of the CT san was my absolute worst 2 weeks of all - they told me I needed one prior to chemo, I had it a week later and got my results a week after that.

I always knew when I was going to get results and what was happening next but some people on here don't - it might be worth checking what happens next at each stage as I found at least knowing what was coming up and when it was happening was a help to me mentally.

I managed to work (from home) throughout chemo and all treatment though did take a few days off after the chemo itself (I was usually back working by Day 6 or 7). I don't have kids but if you prepare for a few days of feeling really rubbish then that will help. I had a very supportive husband who did everything for me those first few days but if you are on your own then maybe prepare by freezing meals etc.

Hi Rubydoo, so sorry you’re joining our club. This waiting time is the worst time, not knowing your full diagnosis and treatment plan fully. I’m 49 with a 12 year old (although my daughter was 4 when I had DCIS) and a single parent, the fear you have for your child/ren and how it affects them is awful. Try as hard as you can to only deal with what you know, not what you imagine, ignore everyone else’s historical stories of what happened with their aunt and friend, etc. They’re by and large nonsense and inaccurate and more importantly, not you. Try not to trawl the net looking for answers, stick to trusted sites like cancer research and Macmillan, they really are the best place to get advice. Ring the Macmillan helpline, they’re amazing and have really helped put my mind at rest on a few occasions.

Everyone reacts to chemo differently, we all have a variety of responses but as others will also tell you they are very good at managing the side effects and mostly you can cope with everyday things and yes draft in help for the days that it is tough. If you don’t have one and can afford it, get a cleaner, massively helped me.

My advice re your daughter, Proactively arrange and book in play dates (not at yours obviously!) to give you space to rest is my biggest tip, when asked ‘anything I can do to help let me know’ (you’ll hear this a lot yet struggle to actually accept the offers that are genuine) say yes please, play date! Take my daughter with you on days out, swimming whatever it is, everytime you book something for your family, think of me and ask me if you can take her too, from strawberry picking to park trips, etc. You know then your daughter is still having fun and that you can rest so when she is there you can be the amazing mum you normally are.

All the very best, let us know how you get on xx

Hi RubyDoo, so sorry you are also going through this. I really love Anna's advice and encourage you to make use of that for your daughter.  I was diagnosed in Feb, did 6 cycles of chemo and had surgery yesterday.   I blogged throughout and you can find it in the blog pages, it's called One Life Live It.   It might help to see how I managed, which was pretty well to be honest.

This site is great for all sorts of advice and support, glad you have found yourself on here.  Good luck with the scan results, the worst is the waiting now, once it all starts it gets easier, we’ll it did for me.. 

So many thanks for your reply’s, I’m so impatient at the best of times so this is torture. I’m so lucky with the support that I have my best friend is coming over from France to move in and be here for all of us. Partner still has to work and can’t take time off….she’s one in a million. I just want to get on with starting the treatment now. Did anyone else wonder if every ache and pain was it spreading around your body?? Does that sound stupid?? I’m going crazy….

Morning Rubydoo,

I so understand and relate to everything you say . I had a UTI a month before my surgery and as I hadn't had one for 30 years I did wonder if it has gone to my bladder. My surgeon said she didn't think so as she had never heard of that.  So I'm just over thinking everything. It's been about 8 days since my surgery and still I worry about every ache and pain . The waiting and wondering is the very worst. You seem to have great friends so use them , you would be there for them ? And in the futher you may well have to be there to help them through this or similar. So let them help you  and you get better and back on with life and motherhood X 

Take care 

Jayne 

how are you feeling after your surgery? You make very good point of chemo being my friend. We always look at it as the enemy because of the way it makes us feel I suppose? I will let you know how it goes once it starts. 

kate. X