Here I Go Again

Hello and sorry to read this, was unsure if you had lost your own mother or if this was your children’s other granny ? I think we are same age, I’m 53 and my kids 11 and 14. I have oestrogen receptor positive ductal carcinoma which I may have had for some time as it didn’t show on mammogram or ultrasound at breast clinic. I relate absolutely to your fear around your kids, me too. Treatments will be even better than they were when you had breast cancer before. Others will be along with more advice. I had r side mastectomy and sentinel lymph node biopsy with 3 nodes sampled 6 weeks ago. Quite a wait for results and I made good recovery (had implant reconstruction). Two of the the three nodes had signs of cancer so when I did get my results it was along with news I was booked for surgery again a few days later to have lymph node clearance. Now waiting for those resuits. Again made good recovery except very uncomfortable with fluid build up which I gather is common. Good luck x

Hi , you have so much to deal with atm and I’m sorry to hear that your family have had such a recent bereavement from cancer on top of your own diagnosis. So unfair to be revisited by breast cancer after ‘beating’ it 2 decades ago. But try to keep in mind that treatment has advanced hugely in that time and it’s sort of good that it’s oestrogen receptive as there’s lots they can throw at it. 

I can understand why you can’t face telling your sons, but it’s probably best to get it done before they hear it some other way. Also the unknown tends to be scarier so better they hear the facts from you rather than pick up on snippets they may hear, and then imagine the worst. It would also be good for their school to know as they can then be supportive. Sorry you have such an unpleasant ex as well, I really hope you have some other family support or good friends. 

Sending love and a big virtual hug your way, HFxx

HI Historywoman, thank you for your reply.  I am so sorry to read that you are in the same situation, it's heartbreaking thinking of the children.  Have you told your two whats going on, if so, how did you tell them?  It was my mum who died very recently. 

I think I had all my lymph nodes removed last time so don't know if there are any left to remove this time, or even if the surgeon will try to.  Glad you made a good recovery from your surgeries :)

You're brave having reconstruction done at the same time, I don't plan on having any reconstruction done.

Hello HappyFeet1, your post offers comfort, thank you.  I hadn't thought of advances in treatment, i've just thought of the friends I've made and lost along the way at the hands of this horrible disease.

I will need help to tell the boys about what's happening to me, luckily (?) the eldest has autism and has a support worker who I think will support me during the breaking of the news.

No other family and no friends, and I have not shed a single tear yet, i feel so cold and heartless.

Can't wait for the surgery to be over, but I want to know what if anything will happen before hand.  Will I have a bone scan, an MRI, i must ask the Breast Cancer Nurse.

Hello, We are about the same age I am 54 and have two children but they are over 18, also single parent and my boys don't see their father due to DV. Your children are too young for so much heartache. Be strong for them. I am having bilateral surgery on 28th June, should stay in hospital only one night providing there are no complications or infection after surgery. I had one-hour-long chat with a breast clinic nurse, they will look after you well. She told me post-op is 6 weeks of recovery and you will need somebody at home to help you. I got a couple of bottles for drainage after surgery apart from that everything should be easy, any pain will be managed with painkillers.  Good luck.