Results

Hi Jamie,

UnfortunatelyI can’t offer any advice as mine did turn out to be cancerous, however there are a lot of other things it could be at the moment in your mums case.  

Just try to be positive and remember that if it is that the treatments are coming on all the time, it isn’t like it used to be. I have just finished chemo and going to have radiotherapy. Surgery was last December and as far as my team are concerned that will be me finished and returning to how life used to be. 

Definatley don’t use google, if you need advice stuck to Macmillan they are fantastic and people on here will offer you support and advice. 

Whether as patients or relations we are all in this together so just reach out if you need us.

Take care and hope all goes ok tomorrow.

kathryn

Thank you for your reply Kathryn I really appreciate it. It's ok, to be honest it just nice speaking with others who kind of understand our situation at the minute. I'm glad things are getting back to normal after what you've faced. So pleased to hear :) I will post again once we know more tomorrow, and thanks again for reaching out. Good luck for the future. Jamie.

Hi 

I sometimes think it is worse for our families and friends to have to deal with the anxiety of waiting for results, particularly when cancer could be the diagnosis. My mum was diagnosed with breast cancer some years ago , aged 69, and I was diagnosed when I was 51- so I know what it is like to be a child (albeit an adult one) and a patient myself. I have no idea what my mums lump etc was , except that she had a mastectomy and medication for five years, no further treatment. My dad had recently died but she coped so well. I think we all think of a cancer sufferer having long complicated surgery and being in bed really illl for months at a time. The reality is very far removed from that, a lumpectomy is day surgery, mastectomy usually just overnight, it is generally very straightforward, our breasts don’t connect to any vital organs so can be operated on quite easily. Most women don’t need chemotherapy, and even if they do, it is much more straightforward than you imagine. Of course there are always exceptions but that is what they are, exceptions and not the norm. The vast majority of women nowadays survive without ever having a recurrence (like my mum) as the treatments for breast cancer are excellent, better than a lot of other less well known cancers, a raised awareness means much more funding from charities etc for research. All the treatments are doable, and all the women on this site are evidence of that.

What none of us have is a Crystal ball to see the future - I know I would have liked one when I was diagnosed, but unfortunately they haven’t been invented yet! What will be will be and tomorrow will soon be here. Even if it is not cancer your mum may be offered surgery as the lump seems to be so big, so she may need your support either way. One piece of advice, please be led by your mum, my husband was extremely anxious and ended up almost making me the same, I banned him from coming with me in the end (we are still together and I love him very much, but he was a nightmare at times ) it isn’t about you but how you can support your mum, it’s a bit roles reversed for a parent and child.

Have you contacted Breastcancernow? It may be worth contacting them for some support, there is also a forum on here for Carers ( found in the cancer experience part) you may get some comfort from others in a similar situation?

Well done for being such a caring son, and whatever your mums diagnosis she is a lucky lady.

Good luck for your mum for tomorrow, let us know how you get on.

Jo x

Hi Jo, thank you so much for your message. You're so right, it is about how I can support my mum and whatever the outcome I will definitely step up to whatever she needs. And I like what you said about been led by my mum, she doesn't talk much about how she's feeling but I know she would if she needed to as she had opened up out of the blue before about other unrelated things so I will definitely heed that advice and just allow my mum to do what she feels is necessary and mirror her approach, I know she'll tell me of there's any needs she has. I will be better and stop nagging and just do what she tells me... haha. Thanks again for your lovely messgar and hope both you and your mum are doing well :)

I will also take a look at the other forums as soon as I can. Staying over at mums tonight as we are going for results in the morning. I will post again once we know more, might take me a few days if its something we need to process first. Xx 

Will be thinking of your Mum and you tomorrow. Keep us updated. 
Nat 

hi 

We are both well, mum is now 84 soon and in fantastic health, I am now nearly five years since diagnosis and I too am great - just lockdown weight to try and shift now!

good luck

Jo

Aww that's such great news! You'll get there :)

Thank you Nat. Lovely to hear from you again. I will do. 

Good luck tomorrow Jamie, I’m on here supporting my mum who was recently diagnosed with ER PR positive HER2 negative grade 3 invasive ductile cancer.  She had a mastectomy in March and her results conformed spread to some lymph nodes.  Not expected but having now had scans which are clear she is this week about to begin her chemotherapy.  The advise below about supporting your mum and her needs my mum told me today she doesn’t want me to take her in for her chemo she wants to go in alone but for me to pick her up. It’s tough as want to be there for her but respect her wishes and will be waiting for her when the first is over.  I’m glad she told me though as I’m guessing would have upset her if I was there.  It’s great you’re there for her you’ll be such a great strength and comfort.  Take care and you’re in my prayers Lisa