Emotional wreck

Sadly you are not alone in this journey but people come out the other side, even if they are a bit bruised and battered.  There's an awake thread when you need a chat.  Just hit reply on last post and say hi.  It's been running for years but new members join all the time just for friendly chats& support. 

Awake thread

Thank you  xx

Hi EK55

I’m new here like you. It was more out of the blue for me (details in my profile) but I too had the horrible experience of my first biopsy coming back negative, celebrating, and the next one being positive. They call it a rollercoaster for a reason and that’s the hardest thing. Sending you a big hug xx

Hi CF. Yes awful rollercoaster. Nothing in life prepares you. I've had 7 friends who've all had BC at different stages of life. Until you get that diagnosis yourself, you can never truly understand can you ,?   My next op is 31 March. Still waiting to see if ill need chemo etc.  I'm coping most of the time, reading, strolling, sitting in garden, stroking my cat and sniping at my patient hubby. Hope you have lots of support. Be kind to yourself. Sending love and support. Xxxx

Hello EK55, The waiting really is the worst part - somehow you will find an inner strength to cope with the roller coaster. Best advice I ever had was to try and take it all one step at a time. Follow your own advice and be kind to yourself and I 'm sure your patient hubby will support you anyway. In some ways I think it is harder for our nearest and dearest because especially at the moment they are not able to be there to ask the questions of your team.Perhaps you could suggest that he speaks to one of the Macmillan nurses or requests one of their excellent booklets which they will send to him . Sending you my very best wishes and some hugs too. Kwissy

Hi CF. How are you doing? 

Hi EK55 I’m up and down. Trying to keep busy. It gives me a sense of normality which I’m grateful for. I’m going in for WLE on 6th April. I am quite scared of the surgery. Always have been quite anxious about general anaesthetic procedures. Sending you my best thoughts for 31st. How are you getting on?

Hi, sorry have mistakenly reported you to moderator.  Hope they see it as sausage finger issue. !!!  I am exactly the same as you about general anaesthtic procedures.   Having my 3rd one this Thursday for the mastectomy.  Like you, up and down.   Night time the worst for worrying.   I am coming off here before I do any more damage...... I will message again when my fingers are working properly.   Maybe send friend request on here when I figure out how to do it xxxx

HiCoffeeFiend.  Seems not only am I replying to myself but pressing wrong buttons. !!So I'll try again. I am also petrified of gen  anaesthetic. However had 2 since Feb. Both were problem free. They've moved by mastectomy to 1st April.. I can just hear the jokes. Spent a fortune on button down PJ's, special pillows etc in readiness for tit no. 1 coming off. (presuming I can say 'tit'. !) I'm hoping that apart from poss chemo and/or radiotherapy...that this is it.  I've just done 1 hour of deep relaxed self hypnosis. Some random guy on you tube...I nodded off but that's ok.  I've a side issue I'm struggling with. Having had an original diagnosis of benign lump I cancelled my expensive critical illness insurance cover in Dec.  I am waiting to see if Aviva will backdate my claim as the 3 lots of cancer in my breast will have been there then! If they say no, may see if Macmillan can advise. I know money isn't everything but I've paid a lot in and it would help enormously.  Anyway enough moaning. I still wake up at 4 each morning asking myself..is this real?  I hope you are finding ways to forget just for a time each day.  My WLE and removal of 3 lymph nodes went fine. Arm slightly stiff. Do the exercises they give you. ! I was able to shower next day. Stay in touch. If you can figure out how to send friend request on this site. Let me know. Sending love. Xx

Sausage finger-describes it perfectly. I’m terrible. Constantly mute people on the phone by accident, and phone unsuspecting folk when I’m trying to WhatsApp! I’m working and it’s quite busy. Did wonder if it was a stupid idea to keep going but it’s doing a good job  taking my mind off it. Recognise the 4am thing though. Try asking for Easter treats when you go in on 1st. That’s my plan! Fingers crossed on the CI. Defo think you should try under the circumstances. I’ve seen something on friend requests somewhere on here. Will try to find. Sending you serene  and relaxed vibes xx