36 and got told i have breast cancer the day before christmas eve

Hi  and a warm welcome to the forum. Sorry you find yourself here but it’s a great place for support and shared experiences. You’re at a really horrible stage atm where you know quite a lot about your cancer but not enough to know exactly what you’re dealing with. It’s a weird sort of limbo time and I think we all felt more able to cope once we got started on our treatment. 

Re friends asking how you are.... would it work to have some sort of group eg WhatsApp for relaying information? I have 2 main groups of friends and let them know info at different stages through the 2 WhatsApp groups. Then I didn’t have to keep repeating it. I also copied and pasted messages at times to individuals for the same reason. You may have to be quite direct and just say that you’ll update people when there’s ‘news’ but in the meantime you’d rather they didn’t ask? All very hard. 

Re cancer and fibromyalgia that is definitely ringing a bell with me - I don’t have experience of this myself but I’m sure I remember a thread a while ago. I’ll try to use the search facility or if you are more techie than me (which is extremely likely) then you might try doing a search. I’ll tag lesleyhelen as she always seems to find things! (Hope you don’t mind lesleyhelen). 
Wishing you well and sending love as well as a big virtual hug, HFxx

So just tried typing‘fibromyalgia’ into the search facility, and selected ‘breast cancer forum’ to search in. Several threads popped up. So definitely worth a look. I don’t know how to post a link to them. Xx

Hi , sorry you find yourself here at such a young age too.

This is the latest link that I've found on the search facility -It was 5 months ago, so you may want to reach out to the lady who posted (friend request) as she's also a similar age to you.  You may be able to provide each other with some support.  I;m tagging in as well to this thread in case she's still using the Macmillan site.

Kindest wishes,

Lesley

hello . I am most definetly not tech minded so i appreciate all the help 

i dont think it will be to long before i learn how to navigate the site.

Thank you Xx

thank you , any helpfull pointers much appriceated Xx

Hi,

So I was diagnosed a few days before you, 22nd. Really messed up Christmas didn't it lol. 

I'm 32 grade 3 idc early stages ATM. I've had all my scans and it's er+ but there's a delay with the hr2 results. Originally they wanted chemo first but they think they can get it out first now. Surgery booked yesterday for 28th. 

I literally have no advice on waiting. It's driving me mad. Particularly at this time of night annoyingly,just can't go to bed without my head asking a million questions. So just know I'm with you in spirit on that topic! 

I literally told my family to stop being nice to me. I find it cringy because we're just not like that. So now I'm being barraged with jokes about wonky boobs etc. I think you should just be honest. I feel fine too. I haven't shed a tear and I wonder if that's weird lol but it's just me. I don't like being vulnerable or being seen like that so I plough on. Maybe your the same? 

I haven't got fibro but I have m.e and the symptoms are very similar. It's a worry I share also. I think we can try and prep as much as possible for additional fatigue and pain. I've been thinking about trying out some sort of meal delivery service, like parsley box or something. I'm more worried about the hubby being fed lol. 

I'm here if you need to chat. It's nice being able to talk to others who really get it! 

Take care 

Xx

Hello ohtits 

Sound like we are quite similar

I had my oncology appointment and start EC-T chemo the week of the 26th. They want to shrink my lymph nodes down as they are in a difficult place to remove. It feels like a golf ball shoved up deep into my armpit. I feel like the princess and the pea when trying to sleep. 

Its all just a bit of a mind f**k !

Im with you on prepping for more pain and fatigue lol Im going to look into Passive Stretching?! i was only diagnosed {finaly}with Fibro at the begining of march so follow ups on pain managment and excerise have been non existant.

I think we just have to be vocal with our concerns dealing with our 'normal' pain and fatigue levels as well as what is to come.

Ive yet to have children and it looks like i may not be able to freeze my eggs for safe keeping. They dont want to put off the chemo and with covid it just may not be possible.But it could all be worse i suppose ?! lol 

Ive not had a major crying fit yet. The odd angry frustrated cry seems to be my brains go to at the moment. But there is no handbook on how to react to a cancer diagnosis and everyone is different. Like im really not fussed that im going to loose my hair at all. Im actually looking forwad to starting a fresh and when do you ever get a excuse to shave your head? lol

Everything in the world is crazy right now so that gives me some peace in a weird way.

Its a comfort to know ive found someone else in a similar situation to me. I hope we can support each other through this even if its just to moan about pain or not knowing how to deal with people lol 

Ive got to try and get used to people wanting to help. Im just not that kind of person lol 

I wish you easy days and sleepy nights ;]

Ouch that sounds uncomfortable! Hopefully after shrinkage and your op you will feel more comfortable. 

I haven't heard of passive stretching.. I'll look at that. But since doing my m.e clinic I've been watching short YouTube videos of QiGong. They are excellent exercises and really low energy. They've helped my recovery tons! 

Wow that sounds like a big thing to deal with. How do you feel about that? I think everyone's going to take that kind of news differently , some would be totally fine not having children but others it would be a big blow. I have adenomyosis and was advised years ago to have them now or never. I wasn't ready at the time, and tbh never actually felt ready lol so that's not something I'm worried about for me. I like my childfree life. 

That's actually really funny you say that about the hair ! I feel exactly the same. I'm going to embrace the change. 

Have you got a breast cancer nurse? Mines lovely she's been so helpful these past few weeks. 

Absolutely hun, really pleased to be here supporting each other. 

Look after yourself

Xx