Hi, I am 2 months into a mTNBC diagnosis, reeling with shock but coming to terms with it all. I had brain mets which were removed 6 weeks ago, I have radiotherapy arranged for next week. I am recovering from serious surgery and I am exhausted. My husband has been amazing through it all, really supportive, listening to all my worries, reassuring, sharing out most of the household jobs and cooking, keeping his business running, dealing with my diagnosis and keeping me sane. He naturally wants to be more intimate with me and I can’t face it. I have no desire or interest, I still feel like I am recovering from surgery, I feel ugly because I gained so much weight during my primary treatment, I’ve got got lop sided and scarred boobs from my lumpectomy, I take exemestane as even though I’m triple negative I had a low ER3, so that has wiped all my hormones. Every night we go to bed with him hopeful of sex and intimacy and I can’t face it. I’ve explained how I am and how I feel to him and he understands and is respectful then a couple of days later we’re back to square one of him trying to bed me and me explaining yet again my surgery and exemestane effects on my body and non existent libido. We’re going round in circles of his understandable frustration and my equal frustration of having to explain myself over and over. Where do we go from here to achieve some kind of compromise or attempt at a sex life? I’ve explained countless times I’m not rejecting him and I love him but medically it’s not possible and I feel like he thinks I’m making it up.
