Angry and fed up

Hi! You can feel however you feel! its ok to be angry. Yes, it's hard when people give you their advice when they have no idea how you feel. 

I have been on letrozole for 6 months - initially I did have some bone aches but it's really calmed down and have very little side effects. I am on abemaciclib too which is also ok, just very tired. we are all different and some people have much worse side effects than others of course. I was determined to counteract side effects (not sure I am managing it!?) but have started being consistent with exercise - and it helps for mind and body. you can only do what you can do.

That said, I am grateful that these drugs are available- the alternative is not being here - but that is my case, my cancer was stage 3 , locally advanced - so it depends on what perspective you are coming from. but I am not for one moment saying you should shut up and be grateful - this is all pretty s**t, whatever your diagnosis 

xxx

Anger is a very normal response. People do look and think it is all over when really it is never over. The cut it out of your boob, They didn’t cut it out of your brain. That little bit that says “ What if….” 
Anger is a normal part of grief and everyone accepts that and I do feel we have a type of grief. Sadness over how we were and how we are now. It takes a lot of courage to go through this. Every now and again we should feel pissed off. 
You came to the right place for a rant because we all know exactly where you are coming from and I bet you feel calmer already. 
Round of applause for the lady stamping her feet.

I’d say angry is pretty normal reaction and there’s nowhere to hang that anger as it’s all so random, come on here to vent, and sooooo many people say silly things, unless they’ve been there they can’t comprehend how everything has changed for you and that you are never quite the same after a cancer diagnosis and that actually the radical treatment has finished but you are still undergoing treatment which has a consequence for you. Huge hugs to you and take each day as it comes x

Hi there

I feel angry and fed up with the whole thing but also at the same time lucky and grateful that I can have the treatment. It's confusing to feel positively and negatively towards the same thing and I found the best thing for me was to accept that both of those viewpoints are valid. I always share those negative feelings too, but I now tend to choose my audience a bit more wisely so I don't fall foul of the standard "you'll be fine!" response.

All the best. x

Oh, I totally agree the "you'll be fine" was the most annoying phrase that I ever heard.  I'm 9 years post diagnosis and took anastrozole for 5 years.  

When we or they don't know and we have the fear that comes with a cancer diagnosis - something that someone who hasn't had it, can NEVER understand, to be told we'll be fine, is the most condescending thing ever.

Dakin If you haven't already, ensure you get a bone scan I have one annually to check against osteoporosis and I was put on Vit D and Calcium at the start of taking my tablets.  My scans haven't changed since the first one, I had osteopenia before, so in a way it actually did me a favour as I was able to take the AdCal to prevent that getting worse!

I really get how you feel and am also so furious that it’s happened- to any of us. I had my surgery in August afree a very early catch on a routine mammogram and I don’t need anything further. I have had so many people say how lucky I am - and of course I do feel lucky in that respect. But I’m still reeling from the whole thing and struggling with the discomfort, numbness, scar etc. Just because I don’t need anything else doesn’t mean it didn’t happen. 

I go to counselling and find it really helps. I can be angry there and not feel I have to be responsible for anyone else’s feelings. So I don’t think you have to suck it up. Your feelings are completely valid and it’s important to feel them and not say ‘I’m fine’ when you don’t feel it. (I might be guilty of doing that!) Smashing up old china in a pillow case is good too! 

Hi there

• Thanks for sharing, it's been reassuring to know that others feel as angry and robbed as me. And I love the idea of china in a pillow case, definitely going to do that next time I get "the rage". Love to you.