Toxic Positivity

I’m actually a firm believer in stress playing a big, as yet poorly understood, role in the development of cancer. I understand it’s now (at last) coming into research but I’m not sure where or who is researching it.

hugs xxx

That's easy.

Slightly tilt your head to one side then stage whisper ,a la  Les Dawson, " How are you feeling" . Sympathetic smile added to show empathy.I

Answer as always " Fine, fine ,I'm good. Not bad at all considering. " 

This is Cancer Research UK’s position on stress. 
https://www.cancerresearchuk.org/about-cancer/causes-of-cancer/cancer-myths-questions/can-stress-cause-cancer

Basically that it doesn’t cause cancer but can drive lifestyle factors that might increase risk. 

Yes - I have had breast care nurses do that to me. The question is always delivered in a slightly higher than normal pitch too. 

Well I hate when people say 'you are so strong going through this'  I don't have a choice do I?

Yes that’s a common one isn’t it. What do they expect us to do instead? 

I'm actually kind of on board with this theory based purely on my own experience of two periods of high stress coinciding with tumour growth and a period of low to no stress where there was no apparent change to tumour size. I have asked two different consultants on my team if stress could be a factor, one of whom said no and one who said it's impossible to say.

That said, this doesn't encourage me to "stay positive!" in order to beat the cancer as I actually find that in and of itself quite stressful and I'm finding the integration of acceptance and pro-activity to be a much more peaceful state to live in.

Stress (or at least too much inappropriate stress) affects sleep, diet, digestion. Is probably linked with inflammation. I had a fairly high powered job before I retired and it was noticeable that I would sail along quite happily then get a really bad cold when I took a break. I guess we don’t know how all these things join up but I suspect inflammation plays a part in a lot of things. 

This makes perfect sense to me as during those periods of high stress I experienced I wasn't sleeping well or eating properly, definitely had some digestive issues and also a noticeably rough texture to my skin with a lot of breakouts, which sounds like it could be consistent with inflammation.

I really agree with this post. When somebody tells me to stay positive and I’ll beat this, it makes it all the more difficult to ask for help without feeling ashamed about not coping well. It’s this that makes me withdraw or pretend that all is fine!