My prosthesis disgusts me, am I crazy?

Hi Ora 

I am sorry you have had a mastectomy and are struggling with your new prosthesis. I haven’t had a mastectomy myself but I will stick my neck out and surmise that your feelings are common. You have been through traumatic surgery and have been left missing a body part. The body part substitute, no matter how normal it might look under clothes, is going to look and feel odd to you. Its weight will feel wrong because your back isn’t supporting it in the way your back supported your breast. Many people I know who have had mastectomies spend much of their time without a prosthetic, or with a softie, or with a lighter breast form such as a Boost. There’s no need to wear it if you don’t want to. 

I’ve had a double mastectomy. I did have a prosthetic before cos one boob was twiggy the other more Dolly. I hated it. Hot sweaty heavy and weird and always going walk about. I wore it for weddings and funerals. Before the surgery I looked at the boost prosthetics. Fancy bits of engineering. I might have gone down thst route. They looked fun. However I’ve gone down the, I’m 69 why do I have to suffer the torture of wearing a bra which I hate. So I’m rocking the bald boobless look with red lippy and the world hasn’t stopped turning yet. 
Am I to understand that your prosthetic doesn’t match the colour of your skin? That you are black and it isn’t? If that’s the case I’m afraid I would be going back and demanding one that does, because that really isn’t good enough. If they can make plasters in different skin tones I’m quite sure prosthetics should be the same. 

Have a look on line at Boost. They are mainly promoted for swimming but I bet they are much cooler and more colourful than the one you have now.

I hope I haven’t affended anyone talking about skin colour but really!!. 

 Coddfish Silverberg 

Thank you both. That’s some reassurance that I am okay. I thought I should have felt every feeling by now, but I will keep my mind open for surprises. 
Yes, I am black, but TBH the colour didn’t (still doesn’t) matter to me, else, I should have raised it up at the fitting. The lovely lady that did the fitting also didn’t mention anything about the colour. It was later that I read that they try to match one’s skin tone. My softies are also not near my skin colour and they don’t bother me. I think it is more about the weight and feel. I think my mind sees the softies as some clothing accessory and the prosthesis as ‘body part’. I should admit that I hated that boob so much after my diagnosis, so this may be some form of transferred resentment.

I will have a look at boost, thanks for suggesting..

Best wishes 

I know what you mean about softies. Your prosthetic should fill a hole  in your body and help toward the hole in your confidence however. The bra makes a difference too. I know M & S are suppose to be trained but I personally did better at an independent lingerie shop that’s local and been there forever. Pricey but worth every penny. 
we all know one bra that fits is worth it weight in gold. 
Goodluck