I’m not even sure why I’m writing this, but I need to get it out somewhere people might understand.
Yesterday I found out that I can’t have implant-based reconstruction because I’ve had radiotherapy. I’m feeling so upset and, honestly, really angry. From the very beginning, I made it clear how important reconstruction was to me. No one told me this would no longer be an option — not before my mastectomy, and not before I agreed to radiotherapy.
I’ve since been told I *can* have DIEP reconstruction, but it’s not something I want. It feels like the choice I had in my head all along has just been taken away from me.
The hardest part is that the radiotherapy was preventative, not essential. I truly believe I still would have gone ahead with it, but that should have been *my* informed choice. Instead, I feel like that choice has been taken away from me, and I’m now dealing with the consequences of something I didn’t fully understand.
I’ve worked for the NHS for 18 years, and I’ve always believed in it. I still do in many ways, but after so many mistakes and miscommunications throughout my treatment, my trust has really taken a hit.
I think I’m just trying to process everything and make sense of how I got here. If anyone has been through something similar or has any advice, I’d really appreciate hearing from you.
