Intimacy and MBC

Hi Yulia, so sorry to read everything you are going through. So sorry about your daughter and your BC recurrence. Have you been to see your GP or spoken to your oncologist about your side effects? I think they should be able to prescribe something or change your medication as what you describe sounds severe. Can you explain to your husband how you are feeling? 
You can self refer at my local hospice if you have cancer and they offer different wellbeing support (including counselling), maybe ask your GP if there is something similar local to you, or are you near a Maggie’s centre to access some support there? 
I would absolutely get some medical help for those side effects and hopefully some wellbeing support too - a little kindness just for an hour a week can make a huge difference. 
take care x 

Many thanks for your response 
it’s so kind . 
I have spoken to my husband, and he said he found it’s hard to deal with his lifestyle changes… ( in a way it made me smile …) 

my GP is not too helpful at the moment they keep saying I should go back to oncologist and ask him for further help. 
my oncologist keep saying there is not much he can do .. the Macmilian nurse who used to look after me has left and I m in a limbo now  

Hello, firstly I have read your post carefully, and Bobofs response.

I cannot even contemplate how you are feeling.  You have a lot to cope with including grieving for your daughter only a few months ago 

Your husband is also grieving for your daughter plus knowing his lovely wife is struggling with her treatment for cancer.

It is a really tough situation for you both.

I suggest that you contact your breast care nurse department.  Explain your original nurse has left but you urgently need to have an appointment to see another breast care nurse (just because yours has left your cancer care team will not leave you abandoned, another nurse will have been given your case).

You tell your new nurse everything.  She should give you support.

Further, ask to see either a different GP at your local surgery or their senior practise nurse (my GP has a Advanced Nurse Practitioner - she is as good as the GPs).

When you make the GP appointment ask for a double appointment because you will need time to explain everything you are trying to cope with because there are a lot of different aspects to your problem.

You have your grief, your cancer diagnosis (twice - I know how that feels - I have just started my 2nd journey), your treatment for cancer, your treatment for grief plus all the physical marital/ intimate issues.

You need gentle consistent support from your medical teams.

To sum up - contact your breast care nurse department who should allocate your case to a new breast care nurse.

Contact your GP surgery and ask to see a different GP or the practise nurse (if you see the practise nurse she will listen and if necessary make an appointment for you to go back and see a GP)

Make sure the appointment at the GP surgery is a double one so you have time to talk about everything you are dealing with.

Now you and your husband have actually talked to each other about what you are trying to deal with - see if he can just gently give you a cuddle - no pushing for more - just hold each other quietly and support each other.

You are going through an awful lot of really strong emotions which, along with all your medications can cause your body to react in different ways.

Hopefully your two care teams is new breast care nurse and a different GP or the practise nurse, will be able to sort out your meds and support your feelings.

I send you gentle hugs x