Hope?

Hi there, welcome to the forum, I'm one of the champions here and I wanted to say hi. I think what you are feeling is pretty normal for this early stage of diagnosis as this is a bit of an emotional rollercoaster. Personally I was diagnosed ove 4 years ago but I have a collleague who was 40 when she was diagnosed, 17 years ago.   Treatments are also getting better, and more personalised, all the time, which is another big positive.

I am sure you'll get lots of lovely supportive answers in here, but din't forget the fabulous team at Macmillan are always at the end of the phone for support and advice. You can call them on 0800 808 0000 from 8am to 8pm every day.

Also, good luck for your chemo. And in case you find it useful, here's a link to my blog post of all the things I wish I'd known before starting chemo. Best wishes 

Chemo blog link

Hi Emma,  I am so sorry to hear about your diagnosis.  You must feel out of control and helpless at the moment.  I think what you are feeling is normal.  I was 47 when diagnosed.  I just wanted the first chemo to start so I could kill the invader in my body.  One bit of advice I was given is to try and stick to your normal routine as much as possible.  This helped me to feel a bit more in control.  I walked the dogs, went out for meals etc when I could just normal things.  Like Irishgirl says you could also phone the Macmillan team who are fabulous.  I had counselling which they arranged for me.  Sending you hugs.

Lee x

Sorry to hear of your diagnosis, Emma.

I'm also recently diagnosed, currently awaiting surgery, and I definitely felt the same way when I first got the news, just overwhelming uncertainty and powerlessness, running through all these different scenarios (good and bad!) in my head about how it was going to go.

I'm feeling a lot better now and I've achieved this by doing exactly what Leelaloo describes, which is following my usual routine and keeping things as normal as possible. This has definitely given me a lot more control and peace back and is paving the way for me to be fit, healthy and in the best frame of mind for the road ahead.

Hopefully things will settle a bit for you as time goes on.

All the best x

Great replies already, and will just add my 2p that (bearing in mind I'm barely a month into my journey) I'm taking control of everything that I can.

There's a surprising amount of things I came up with when I really started thinking about it.

I'm going to have surgery at some point, so have been focusing on getting my cholesterol number down. Gonna have the Herceptin, so focusing on exercise designed to improve my heart health now, to put me in better stead later. Going to lose my hair so decided to SATC Samantha Jones the hell out of this and ordered a load of different styles of wigs....

I hope you also find a list of things you can control and focus on those.

Any time something pops into my head that's a worry or about something I can't control, I breathe out the thought and say "I can't do anything about that right now". If you've seen the film The Green Mile, I imagine the special effect from that film where my negative thought disintegrates into the air and disappears.

Any just to fully overshare, my little mantra to myself is "It's only in the boob, the treatment is going to work, and I'm going to die of old age in my 90's from something that isn't cancer".

xx

Hi Balls

I'm glad I'm not the only Samantha Jones trying to style it out. I'm not on wigs but the scarves that turn into turbans are breeding in my wardrobe. I can't possibly have bought all of them. I will soon be declared bankrupt as only the poshest of red lippy will do. I've just watched Antiques Road Show all I could think was that ruby and diamond brooch would look fab on the red silk scarf upstairs. I love my new and unnecessary glasses but they look better with the scarves. 

CT scan for me tomorrow, MR I on Tuesday so I'll be glowing in the dark again!

Ooh, you sound fabulous! Love it ️

The Maybelline 24 hr lipp y stays on better than the posh stuff. 

Hi,  sorry to hear about your diagnosis, I’m 35, and have IDC, breast cancer stage 2, I have started my treatment and have my second one in December, I also feel the same at times, but you are youngstrong, and the treatment out there is good. I felt the same at first but now I’ve started treatment I have got a bit of a grip on myself, you have. To keep telling yourself you can do this. Be postve. ️️ it will be a tough journey but there is light at the end of the tunnel.Never give up," "Believe you can," and "Create your destiny". X

Hi Emma,

I was 35 when diagnosed with stage 2a bc in 2021. I remember feeling a lot like how you describe - it felt like being on a cancer conveyor belt going through all the scans, operations, appointments, etc. I remember looking at others living carefree and feeling so sad and scared - thinking I could never be like them again. Your world is turned upside down from one day to the next.

I'm a few years down the line now (just turned 40 and cancer free) and can say that it gets better. I am the happiest and healthiest I have ever been in my life and while I don't think I will ever live my life as carefree as I did before, I really don't worry about the cancer coming back like I did in the beginning. I take very good care of myself to reduce my recurrence risk and what once felt like a big grey cloud following me around, now doesn't. Of course, there is always a chance that my cancer could come back, but it's something fully out of my control and so is not worth worrying about. 

Life is a delicate balance of yin and yang - there is no good without bad, no light without dark, no happiness without sadness, so when we experience such challenging chapters in life, know that by experiencing such dark moments, the light feels even brighter when it comes back.

The next few months will be strange and will have difficult moments, but do what you can do look after yourself and it will make things that bit easier. Even once you get started on treatment it gets better because there is a routine to treatment. One of the hard things in the beginning is that everything is chaos and everything is so uncertain.

Let me know if I can help to answer any questions you might have.

Wishing you the best of luck with everything x

Hi Emma, am so sorry to read about your diagnosis. My best friend was diagnosed in 2005 and had left side mastectomy with reconstruction and full lymph node removal. She was 34. She has stayed cancer free ever since. Another lovely friend was diagnosed at 31 and has had 2 local recurrences over the last 25 years (so has had a lot of different ops and treatments) but is still here living a full life. I am only 14 months since diagnosis but am finding my feet and moving forward all the time. 
you need to give yourself time to come to terms with your diagnosis - it is crap, right? But there is loads of great advice already about how to get some control back over what is happening. 
Good luck x