Scared, paranoid of receiving bad news

Hey I feel your pain I am exactly the same and have been since being diagnosed with breast cancer, my anxiety is so bad I haven’t been out the house in my own , but recently just started councelling to help me … it’s the most awlful feeling the anxiety takes over everything, this site really helps just talking to people that understand I think the not knowing is worse that knowing if you had answered the call you would probaly have been able to deal with it better and not cause yourself all the torment of overthinking … I wish you strength to get through this I’m just doing one day at a time it’s very hard but we will get there x

I'm afraid Sparkle anxiety and paranoia come with the Cancer territory. If you don't feel it sometimes personally I think you or probably lying. I've always said they cut the Cancer out of of my breast but they didn't cut it out of the back of my head where it hides to be woken by a twing or a pain or a slight swelling. I can reassure you a little though about them leaving a message when they rang. They don't leave messages because your health and records et c are confidential. They need to know it is you getting the message and not someone else.

Next time answer the phone, it is probably some thing and nothing. I can almost guarantee your imagination will come up with something much worse than it actually is. Mine always does. 

Take a deep breath and ring back or ring your BC nurse. We all feel like you do at some time.

I’m sorry to hear you are suffering with the anxiety also. It really is horrible isn’t it. Is the counselling helping? I wonder whether talking to a counsellor may help. I’m constantly on a paranoid trip/on edge. 

It’s so strange as say for example i got a call from work saying I was being sacked I’d just be like ok and at one time I’d be worried about work but not anymore. Just hope one day I can be like that about my health. 

Yes I know what you mean about answering the call there and then. If they ring back tomorrow I will answer and face it. 

You are absolutely right they did cut it out but the worries are still there

Yes I always think the worst and I need to snap out of it. Yesterday at the hospital waiting for my blood test it came up with consulting room next to my name when I got called in and I had a slight panic thinking do I have to see the doctor that’s not what I was there for so I went into bloods and they were expecting me/had my notes etc so presumed it was just an error on the screen but these thoughts always creep in. 

It’s horrid having anxiety mine is mainly health anxiety if I have an ache or pain it’s the worst outcome in my head … I’ve had the health anxiety for quite a few years it’s debilitating, I don’t want to leave the house incase I fall unwell when I’m out .. unless you suffer from it no one gets it … I’m seeing the macmillian councelling she is amazing but at the end of the day I’ve got to do it but I know my head won’t allow me … I can’t even explain how it makes me feel just hope I will be able to get myself to a better place without feeling like this every day ..  I wish you the best and want you to know I understand you xx

I’m exactly the same and yes it is really debilitating. It’s a real mental battle, I literally read into everything, results come quickly must be bad, results take ages, must be bad. I only really feel “safe” at weekends when I know no one can touch me with medical phone calls and appointments. 

Yes definitely a mental battle I only feel safe when I’m with my partner but he works all week so too much time to think, my brain does not get time to rest until I get to bed, and sometimes I just want to sleep to release the mental torment I go through every minute of every day x