Lifestyle, diet, blame & change

Oh gosh MsC19754c I felt like this too with a huge helping of shame! 
However, It felt good to take back control and make different choices.

The one thing that has really helped me with food choices is an app called YUKA - you scan the barcodes on foods and cosmetics and it gives a rating out of 100. So if for example you wanted to buy some frozen breaded cod you could compare Birdseye with supermarkets own brand and see which is healthier. It informs you of additives and their risk levels and various other things such as fats, protein, sugar.... It's free to download and no adverts -  for a fee you can add things like intolerances and it will highlight the ingredients that you are intolerant to.
I have found that there are a wide range of tinned and frozen foods that are really healthy -- my best find is Tesco's tinned mackerel in hot chilli sauce - amazing on toast!!

wishing you well xx

Hi there. I felt exactly like that. I am overweight and haven't exercised since covid. I blamed myself for ages but I was reminded that healthy people who have a great diet and exercise all the time also get cancer. To be honest I think it's just your luck (bad luck in our case). 

You have enough to deal with so put the blame aside and be kind to yourself. You can't change things so don't torture yourself.

Wishing you all the very best for your treatment and recovery x

I too used the chance to ‘take stock’ and make improvements in my lifestyle, the major one being a daily walk of at least a mile. I also eat rather more healthily than I did but some of that is that now my hubs has died (between me getting to lose a stone after finishing the first 5 years of hormone busting, then my recurrence after caring for hubs in the 10 months between his diagnosis and death from kidney cancer) I have reformed my diet and try to eat far less ultra processed foods and more veg and fruit. 

Blame? I think that’s actually psychologically harmful and something not to dwell on, for none of us can be blameless in our lives but to dwell on it can be destructive. 

Be kind to yourself but do take the chance to take a careful look at lifestyle and take the chance to make any healthy changes you wish.

hugs xxx

Hi

I’d recommend being kinder to yourself. From what I’ve seen so far, cancer seems like a bit of a lottery. Yes we might have breast cancer, but at least there are good treatments, and we generally find them when there is still time to do something about it unlike some other cancers.

Don’t look back. You are where you are. Decide how you want to live your life going forward. I’ve made a few changes to my diet - more veg and water, less processed or red meat - and I’m more rigorous about getting out for a walk most days. But i still have a couple of glasses of wine - just probably less often than I did.

Best wishes

Hi. Yes, every day I wonder what I did wrong. I feel bad for making bad decisions and jealous of those who seem to drink more than me and worse lifestyles but perfect health it really is a mental battle, full of regret wishing I’d done a lot of things differently. 

Since I was diagnosed I have given up drinking (I had a drop of alcohol in a hot chocolate the other week and I couldn’t stop worrying about it), I don’t eat packaged meats anymore like ham etc. 

Listen to this though, my auntie had breast cancer, was treated successfully with mastectomy, lymph node removal, radiotherapy, chemotherapy and tamoxifen. She retired early (to avoid stress), she moved out to the country (away from pylons and road pollution), she grew and ate all her own fruit and veg (to avoid pesticides) and she gave up drinking but it still came back 9/10 years later when she came off tamoxifen. 

It’s so hard, sending hugs to you all xxx

Hi MsC I am sorry to hear about your diagnosis.  I think it is a good idea to sit back and take stock.  I don't think that your lifestyle caused you to have cancer, I do think luck of the draw plays a major factor.  My sister died of cancer at 26, she didn't drink, smoke or eat lots of red meat , my Mom too.  But it is a good idea to change things that you can change like trying to eat healthier and go out walking, small changes can help-.  I admit I do love my wine and no matter what will carry on enjoying it with my meals.  You can still enjoy your life without feeling guilty, life is for living.  I have secondary cancer and am determined to enjoy every day.  Good luck with your surgery x

Lee x

Hi there, I was a non-smoker, tee-totaller, vegetarian, had  three pregnancies, breast fed them all for months. No early menarche, no late menopause, never took HRT or the contraceptive pill. Healthy diet (I was a Health Visitor), BMI 26 (slightly over recommended, but not by much). I was pretty active. I did not have any first, or even second degree relatives, diagnosed with breast cancer. I limited my exposure to any household chemicals. In fact, I believed I was so low risk I hadn't had a mammogram for ages. Have I made any changes? I eat more fruit and veg and I've upped my daily calcium intake (on Letrozle) and take Vitamin D supplement. I just wanted to send my love and best wishes. xx

So grateful to everyone who has shared here!

I've read all the replies and am touched by your kind words and practical advice for moving forward. The support here is invaluable and I'm feeling in a much more positive frame of mind.

All the best x

I find that app really useful too ! If it’s any consolation within my own family network, it’s the healthier ones that have had cancer diagnosis and the ones I have always worried about seem healthier than us all ! It’s good to feed your body well now and as a healthy eater of years- I feel at least eating well throughout this gives my body a bit of a boost ! Jacket potatoes filled with various fillings have been a healthy go to when cooking feel too much effort. Try not to blame yourself the more I read about this illness the less I understand. I felt like that too and was almost blaming myself for any overindulgence across my entire lifespan!! Give yourself a break and little kindness xx

Sending hugs and good vibes to you !