Hi everyone
I’ve posted before on the secondary cancer forum. I was diagnosed last year with metaplastic breast cancer unfortunately it has metastasized to my lungs. I’m awaiting more scans this week to hopefully get on a new trial at St Barts Hospital but I’m really really struggling to keep a positive outlook. I’m a single mother to a nearly 3 year old and I just feel angry and upset all the time. The poor boy keeps apologizing to me saying he’s sorry and it’s all his fault because I snap and lose my temper so quickly. I have no desire to do things with him which is awful I should be making memories with him .
i spoke to my breast nurse today as I’m worried everything is taking so long to get going, my whole body hurts which she said can be normal after a masctomy despite it being 7 months ago, she also said ideally they wanted to start treatment with Troliev weeks ago but we have to wait foe the trial to see if I’m eligible, I’m so stressed and worry about how little time I have left I was told a year and while they are a little more hopeful I have longer with treatment I just can’t get past that, I know I’ve asked this on other forums but are there others out there who are doing well and beating the odds ie the 5% still here years later after diagnosis?
Hello Penguin80
I'm so sorry to read your post, Words can't express it properly, but I totally understand why you would be upset and angry and on top of that probably feeling guilty for your young son.
I've no advice (sorry), but your post had dropped to the 2nd page, so I'm guessing there might not be anyone else around to advise you - just in case this is boosted back to page 1 by answering.
However, I am presuming they MUST have offered you some for of counselling, haven't they? I would certainly hope so, considering how much you are enduring. Can you see your counsellor and talk through how you are feeling with them?
In the meantime, if there is a wait, you could give the Macmillan help line a call for some emotional support as it does seem as if this is really needed by you. I can't imagine how you are coping. 
Telephone: 0808 808 00 00
Kindest wishes, Lesley
