Having a real funk the last few days.. I'm on day 6 of radiotherapy out of 15. I am the youngest person there every day, (44), I look around and wonder about each person's case, if their cancer came back or it's their first diagnosis but in later life.
I feel my implant is changing because of the RT (well known side effect) and now face possible corrective surgery thus delaying my return to work again. I'm just unhappy with it all.
I feel a lack of confidence in general, in my relationship, body confidence, fatigue, starting a fitness regime and being motivated (or not) to do so and make positive change. I stress about finding a job i want to do and moving forwards, feel I'm not being a good partner, not wanting intimacy as much or sometimes... not even wanting to see or talk with him because of his low mood. I want to support him but my cup is empty too. I'm struggling at the moment. It doesn't feel like me. I just can't seem to go easy on myself. We do talk a lot and he understands (says he does) these things. I just feel ughhhhh.
Hi Bondgirl it's still a very difficult time and I'm sorry to read you're feeling down. I think radiotherapy can be challenging with the chore of the daily interruption to your routine for what feels like a long time. I did wonder if having a chat to so,e of the team at Macmillan, or even considering some counselling, might help. You can call the team on 0800 808 0000 daily from 8am to 8pm and they are there to listen, support and advise. Best wishes
