Telling the kids…

Not a Mum of children that age but I have Grandchildren at 10,8,7 and 5. We decided to tell them before the chemo started but I'd got my PICC line in. The little two have a tendency to launch themselves at me. I've had BC before and they know that, they've seen the scars and asked about them. 

We explain things honestly and answer Questions with age appropriate details. I taught Primary for 30 years so I applaud your decision to tell school first. That means they are prepared for comments or questions. People would be amazed at the things teachers are told and asked during a working day, and occasionally embarrased! 

I did look at and order a couple of books from Amazon. I was thinking the illustrations could be useful even if the story wasnt. I haven't read them to the girls but they are in their bookcase.

The only other thing I've done is take pictures of me having the chemo. We understand how it work but they might not. Seeing the pictures gives them another chance to ask questions. 

I cannot imagine what you are going through so sending hugs and best wishes. Children are very resilient as long as they know what's going on. 

P.S. The appointments are very variable. I waited 2 hours for blood tests last week so get support on child care, school runs et C Then you can be less stressed and anxious.

Thank you, thank you!!

I looked at Amazon but nothing really stood out as appropriate for them. Perhaps I’ll take another look.

Photographs is a great idea. I can imagine it might help to demystify and make it less scary.

My sister is a nurse, she has recommended having a port if I have the choice. For the reasons you mentioned! My youngest has a tendency to launch herself unannounced like a little flying squirrel. She thinks a port could be less problematic. I don’t know if I’ll have a choice but I’ll certainly have the conversation.

I am fortunate regarding a network to support us. That was one of my first tasks, to let those that need to know, know. I’m going to set up a shared calendar with appointment and treatment dates to help friends and family be around when they are needed most.

I have to give them credit for resilience and ability to cope with this but of course my instinct is to protect them in all this. 

Thank you for taking the time to share your experience. The reassurance is helpful <3 

https://www.macmillan.org.uk/cancer-information-and-support/stories-and-media/booklets/talking-to-children-and-teenagers-when-an-adult-has-cancer

Try the booklet above. MacMillan have lots of great resources to read to help support you through your journey and afterwards.

I was diagnosed in March and as soon as I knew the plan for treatment I told my son. I was very honest with him throughout. I am a single parent and he seen me on my good days and bad days. I just answered any questions he had as honestly as possible. He even had a shot of shaving my head when my hair started to fall out.

I wish you all the best for your journey and your recovery xx

Hello. I have two boys aged similar ages and gearing up to tell them.  I have been recommended Fruitfly collective by different people for support with telling children about a cancer diagnosis, it’s broken down in to age appropriate age groups. Apparently their work shops are good too. I am starting chemo in a few weeks so will definitely need to tell my kids soon too. Good luck. 

My daughter was 12 when I was diagnoised and I was just honest with her. 
More than likely your eldest may of heard of the big ‘c’ and it is scary for them. People automatically think the worst but just remind them that treatment has expanded since the past years and breast and prostate are the ones with the most advanced treatments. 

She did cry when I got the results but she knew my appointments etc. 

Everyone is diff when it comes to treatment but I did spend a lot of time at the hospital - I mean a lot LOL. I joked it was my second home! 
Chemo regime is possibly going to be the same as what I had and a lot of others which is generally every week for 12 weeks then every 3 weeks, 4 cycles. 
You will need bloods every time before a cycle - I had a picc line. Great idea but not sure about small children! 

When this picc was removed and after I’ve had lymph’s out, you can only go in the arm that didn’t have lymph’s out. By this point - all my veins are knackered and like others, it took about an hour or so to get blood! 

Do not be shocked at anything. Other people have probably experienced the same. You get given a number to call if you do feel unwell - just ring it whenever! It’s 24 hours. 
Your immune system will be hit hard so try to avoid people who are unwell. Again, I know this will be hard with little ones as they pick everything up! 

Good luck with it all! Remember - you’re not the first and you won’t be the last to go on this journey! 
My daughter helped out with things and managed to get herself to school every day! She saw me on good and bad days… and just enjoyed the good days as much as possible to counteract the bad days.

It won’t be easy but it is do able! 

I have just finished after 18 months of treatment. Hopeful for the future!xx

Thank you and good luck to you too!! I will definitely check out Fruitfly collective.