Paranoia/overwhelm

Hello everyone. I’m nearly 6 weeks out of chemotherapy and been taking letrozole for a few weeks now. I have an appointment on Monday for my first ovarian suppression injection. They have also said they will do a blood test and ECG. 

I have recently had dental sign off (save for a filling) for Zoldronic acid to commence in a few months. 

I also await an appointment re commencing abemaclib, an appointment for a bone density scan, an appointment with plastics re reconstruction and a new start date for radiotherapy. 

I am feeling so overwhelmed with all these further tests and appointments. I’m so scared and paranoid when I get a call about the appointments that they need to tell me something bad. I had a voicemail from my oncologist the other day asking for a call back and I broke down in tears so scared he’s seen something on my ct planning scan. My oncologist speaks in such a quiet soft slow voice everytime he calls he sounds like he’s about to deliver bad news.

The other day when I went to the dentist he said he could not do the filling because the system was down and he needed sight of my X-ray. He said it in such a soft slow voice again starting with I’m so sorry and my mind immediately thought what have they seen on my X-rays, is mouth cancer. I mean what the hell is wrong with me. 

I keep hearing/reading it’s hard after active treatment because you don’t have as many appointments and you’re left alone but i’m the complete opposite I have more appointments still to come and it’s so scary and overwhelming, I’m very much not being left alone to get on with my life. 

I just wanted to know does anyone else feel like this? I’m already paranoid I’m the only one that has this many appointments after chemo. I feel it’s all getting on top of me now.