In limbo

Hello, I’m sorry to read this. I’m sure that others will reply with their own thoughts, but this point in the process can often feel (emotionally) like the worst point. The unknown, the lack of control, and the fear that the diagnosis might be the worst diagnosis affects most of us. However, survival rates are much higher than they used to be. In the four and a half years since my diagnosis new treatments have been licensed, and they are improving outcomes considerably. 
Stay with us, there are a lot of kind and supportive people on this forum. X 

Thankyou so much IV never been so scared so appreciate this group and the lovely people on here xx

Morning

I know how you feel. I was diagnosed middle of July but I don't have my first chemo until 19th September. I found that out yesterday. Up until now I've just been backwards and forwards with scans, ultra sounds, biopsies and mammograms. The results have sometimes cheered me at others terrified me. I sort of wish I could be a fly on the wall to hear what they are saying at all these multidisciplinary meetings the keep having, after all it is my body AND mind they are talking about, maybe sat in chair with them. As for outcomes that's a bit in the hands of the gods.

I've lost friends to all different types of cancer, I'm afraid such is life. These thoughts are bound to go through our heads. However I've been though this twice before and come out the other side for a significant length of time. I'm working on doing the same this time. I put the pessimistic thoughts in a box and try to keep the box closed. Sometimes the lid lift a little and I have to be firm with myself and close it again. Talk to people about how you feel. Sometimes it is easier to talk to a stranger. Friends and family tend to want to keep the box shut too. That is what McMillan can provide, someone who will help you go through the thoughts and put them in perspective. 

There are times when you slap on the smile and say "I'm fine" but there are also times when you are curled up in a ball with a very soggy tissue and puffy eyes. It's always better when treatment has started because then we feel like we are back in control. That's how we all like to be.

Talk to someone. You will feel stronger for it.

Hi BHope142d8136 and another hug from me. The stage you’re at really is tortuous. I feared the worst when I was first told that it was very likely to be cancer. My mum died from breast cancer at 53, so it was all too easy to imagine that my own cancer experience would be similar. But as Cloudier has said, cancer treatments really have moved forward hugely in recent years. And all the tests, maddening though they are as it must feel like endless delays, ensure that the medics have as much information as possible about your particular cancer. And that in turn informs the treatment plan. 
Keep posting and chatting here, it’s a great place for support and shared experiences. I’m still rattling around this site, nearly 7 years since my diagnosis. Sending love and a big virtual hug, HFxx

Thankyou so much and totally I don't want to worry family anymore than I am so always Easier talking to someone else also so so sorry to hear all you have and are going thro x

This is how I close the box. Main thing for me is take back control. 
Packed my bag for hospital and surgery. 
cleaned the bits I wouldn’t be able to reach  like lightshades, skirtingboards. Inside the cooker ( thats a lie I save up and get a man in) Unpacked my hospital bag, I’m having chemo first. Packed achemo bag and learnt to tie a scarf. My husband will cook so I don’t need to batch cook. I will bake though at the weekend. Sorted clothes, comfy for chemo, blouses for when I finally have surgery. I’ve seen my family a lot. 

You get the idea! Distraction and taking back control… 

Your so prepared and organised it's what I need to do I think will help thankyou both again xx