Depression

Hi Cas.49 , I’m not a medic so can’t tell you if you’re depressed or not, but then I’m guessing that your husband isn’t either! It’s a huge thing, getting a cancer diagnosis, and the treatments you’ve been through (and may still be on) are hardly a walk in the park. 
I can only really speak from my own experience, my ‘active’ treatment was surgery and radiotherapy , then hormone therapy as adjuvant therapy, to reduce the risk of recurrence. I’m still on it 6 years later. 
After a year post diagnosis I found myself increasingly anxious and was struggling with work, and hadn’t managed to get back to full time hours. My GP suggested a couple of times that I could be depressed and seemed keen to give me anti depressants. But I really didn’t think I was depressed, just anxious and definitely fatigued. Like you I didn’t want more drugs. In the end I retired earlier than planned as I just couldn’t cope with work at all. 
There’s a really useful article which I’ve referred back to over the years. I can’t post links but if you search for Dr Peter Harvey, After treatment finishes, it should take you to it. Maybe ask your husband to read it too, if you think it’s relevant to how you are feeling. I really don’t think ‘other people’ get it. 
Sending love and a big virtual hug, HFxx

Hi Cas.49,

I'm on a similar timescale to you, I was diagnosed late April and then surgery chemo, surgery, radio and still targeted drugs and i know my husband has been very supportive and it was hard for all of us (we have 3 kids at home) but his life is very much back to normal now and he does all the things he use to do, but mine is not and occasionally i have to remind him of that. Like you i get tired, i feel low at times, I worry constantly about reoccurence, I haven't gone back to work because i don't want that stress in my life and am more anxious and don't think i would deal well with my work right no. A few weeks ago I joined a health club and I go to the gym,yoga, swimming about 3-4 times a week and it's really helped me as well as busying myself with the things i want to do, walks, lunches with friends etc..but i'm taking things slowly and if i want a day of Netflix so be it! We've had such an awful 12 months, of course it's going to have a massive impact physically, emotionally and mentally you don't just bounce back from something like this. Maybe speaking to somebody would help. Sending you a big hug. X

Hi.  Thanks for your reply and the article info.   Its really insightful and good for everyone to read.   Xx

Hi.  Thank you for your reply.  Its a struggle to get anyone to understand unless they have been through it.  I get told to exercise, but my back knees and ankles ache.  Then I get told im doing too much.  Then I'm not doing enough.  I need to power through the pain. I need to stop being so miserable, I need to snap out of it, make more effort.  I'm getting a bit sick of being told what I should be doing and feeling.   Xx

Hey, so in currently going through treatment and have history of depression. I obviously don’t know you so couldn’t say if you’re depressed but from my experience it doesn’t matter if you are. What matters is if you want to be different. As you say it all depends on mindset so if you want to change then you can take steps in helping yourself. Depression doesn’t always mean antidepressants but if you were to go on them, it won’t change your mindset but it will give you space to think and breathe to help yourself change your mindset. I hope i explained myself right and helps you

Hi Cas.49 I am so sorry for all that you have been through.  I felt this way 12 years ago.  I had surgery, chemo , radiotherapy and hormone tablets.  I powered through the whole process and managed well.  Bam two years later it hit me and it was first time I really cried.  Cancer changes your life for ever and nobody can tell you any different.  I'm not saying it changes it for the worse, but it does change your life.  I felt like I wasnt in control of my life or body for a long time.  It does take time to come to terms with what you have been through.  I put so much weight on with treatment, when I felt ready I joined a slimming club.  I felt like I was starting to get back in control of my body.  Eventually it does get better.  You do things at your own pace and in your own time, this is now your time.  I think you have done so well and you will get there.  Sending you big hugs x

Lee x