Hi all
I finished chemo two weeks ago and will start Radiotherapy and Tamoxifen on Thursday. After Radiotherapy is finished I’m due to see the Oncologist and all being well I’ll be discharged.
But I’m scared!
As much as I want to get back to normal, I feel ’safe’ having treatment…..no scared of life without HRT, my body physically and mentally miss it so much already - without even starting Tamoxifen.
Im scared the cancer will return, I want to cry, feel overwhelmed- I look in the mirror and don’t recognise the person looking back.
Ive gained a lot of weight during chemo, lost a lot of my hair, lashes and brows and feel like I’ve aged a decade.
I’m constantly tired. I know it’s still early days but will it ever go back to normal?
I ve had a pain in my right breast, the Oncologist thinks its side effects from the chemo but I keep thinking. ‘what if it’s back’? ……….
I don’t have any other scans or anything booked until the annual Mammogram which will be around December time.
Is this normal to feel this way?
I know there’s people far worse off than me Xxxx
Ah thank you for replying.
It’s so hard, I should feel pleased but feel so many things, angry too at cancer for what me and my family have gone through, for taking away the last year, but then grateful I’ve had a warning - lots don’t get that.
If I have a pain, how do I know if it’s normal? Nerve pain? Do I leave it or bother the nurses with every twinge…..just feel so many things.
I try and put a brave face on and say I’m fine, I’ve been lucky but hear the voice in my head saying….what if…..
I just want to know it’ll all be ok , wish I had my mum still 
My husband, family and friends have all been amazing but just don’t always understand xxx
Thank you 
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Wow 
